Learning To Cope With Your ADD Child

Attention Deficit Disorder, ADD, is one of the hardest things to cope with as a parent. The child with ADD is hard to parent but given the desire to learn effective coping strategies, both parent and child will find a workable solution.

One of the first things you need to do when you are informed that you child “has ADD” is get a second opinion. Teachers will often take a child with behavioral problems and pull a parent aside to insist he be tested for ADD. Whoever it is that gives you their “professional opinion” on your child and the potential they may have for ADD, will likely know what they are talking about. However, because ADD in children can sometimes be hard to diagnose, always get a second opinion.

Make sure the entire family learns all they can about ADD and works to help the child that is battling the disorder. Children with ADD will often have moments that will embarrass the entire family, because usually what comes to mind comes out of their mouth. During these particularly uncomfortable moments, pause and take a deep breath. Then just smile. NEVER MAKE EXCUSES for the child in front of him/her.

Understand that if one family member has ADD, it will affect every family member. Try to form a support group for each other, but never allow the child with ADD to feel like it is him against the rest of the family.

Decide if you are going to initiate counseling for the entire family. ADD FAMILIES do not let the person carry the burden alone, if one goes to counseling, they all go. Anytime you sense one member is pulling back, make sure you quickly encourage that individual and remind them of the family unit... Older siblings sometime begin to resent all of the attention and focus on the ADD child’s problems and concerns. They feel left out and often feel they have their own needs put aside for the needs of a more important family member……”the needy one.”

Try to keep a good sense of humor. ADD can turn a family inside out and upside down and you just have to keep your wits about you otherwise you will pull your hair out. In the mid 90’s, children with ADD were treated more like outcasts. Often without meaning any harm, the very people that made ADD children feel abnormal were the
People they were closest too. Announcing to everyone you meet that you have a child with ADD doesn’t build his self-esteem and sometimes the things you say in front of a child with ADD can cause even more problems.

Daily, tell your child that you love him or her. Take the opportunity to tell them you are proud of them and when you see significant improvements in the effort they are putting forward to manage the ADD on their own, make a point to share with them that you see an improvement.