Monday, October 31, 2005

Dealing with fear of failure issues

The fear of failure is probably the number one problem holding people back from the success they desire and deserve. Conquering the fear of failure may just be the single most important thing you can do to improve your level of success and achieve your dreams and goals. There are many ways to conquer the fear of failing, and it is important to choose the techniques that best suit your own personality and style.

When dealing with and addressing fear of failure issues, it is important to first understand that such fears are perfectly normal and justified. After all, no one likes to fail, and repeated failures can be enough to make some people stop trying altogether. Although fear of failure may be normal, it is also important to know that it can be overcome.

Many of the most successful people in the worlds of entertainment, business and politics failed repeatedly before they made it big. It is rare indeed to encounter someone who was a true overnight success in any field. Most people got there through hard work and perseverance, and that means they learned to handle rejection and put their fear of failure aside in order to achieve their goals.

The first step in conquering a deep seeded fear of failure is to take a step back and see that failure is not the end of the road. Just because you failed to achieve your goal today does not mean you will not go on to triumph tomorrow. The key is to learn from every setback, and to treat every failure as an opportunity to learn rather than as a reason to stop trying.

While it is true that if you never try anything new you can eliminate your fear of failure, this technique will not lead to a healthy and fulfilling life. New experiences, whether in the social world, your personal life, or in the business arena are what gives life its spice and spark. Eliminating these important elements of life just because you are afraid you will not succeed, is not the way to a fulfilling life.

Rather, the road to a fulfilling life, a successful business and a rewarding personal life lies in seeing failure as a temporary setback and not a permanent condition. Once you have come to see failure as permanent, it is easy to become depressed and discouraged. If, on the other hand, you see failure as temporary, and use it as a way to learn and grow, your fear of failure will be diminished or even eliminated.

Of course, dealing with fear of failure in this manner is easier said than done, and it will take a lot of work, perseverance and patience to truly overcome a fear of failure. It all boils down o having a positive attitude, and knowing that you can succeed. The people you surround yourself with can have a significant impact on your success as well. For instance, if you choose to surround yourself with people who are negative, or those who think they can never succeed, that bad attitude is bound to rub off on you, and make conquering your fear of failure that much harder.

If, on the other hand, you can surround yourself with positive people, those who express a can do attitude about life, that attitude will be infectious as well. A positive attitude is as easy to spread as a negative one, so try to keep your circle of contacts positive and focused on your goals.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Avoiding fatigue and increasing your success

When it comes to increasing your chances for success, it is important to avoid the tiredness and fatigue that can often accompany the modern world. That is because fatigue is the enemy of success. If you are too tired to do the things you need to do, your chances of success will be greatly diminished.

If, on the other hand you are able to avoid fatigue and keep your level of energy up, you will be in a better position to achieve the success you have always wanted and to get the things you need to live a fulfilling and fruitful life.

Avoiding fatigue, however, is not as simple as it may sound. Avoiding fatigue takes much more than just getting a good night’s sleep, although getting plenty of sleep each and every night is certainly a great place to start. Other ways to avoid fatigue include taking good care of your health and avoiding stress. Stress can creep into anyone’s life, and it is important to avoid the stress and anxiety that often come with modern life.

If you are suffering from fatigue, or if you feel that your fatigue level is interfering with your enjoyment of life, it is important to get to the root cause of it. There are many reasons why you may feel tired, including problems at work, problems at home, lack of sleep and general feelings of ill health.

If you believe the reason for your fatigue to be health related, it is important to get a checkup by your family doctor to either rule out or confirm your health as an underlying cause. There are a great many health conditions that can cause it, so a thorough physical is definitely in order. It can be caused by anything from a low level of iron in the blood to low blood pressure to heart disease. Knowing where the problem lies is the best way to get your fatigue under control and to help you achieve the success you desire.

If the fatigue you are feeling is not physical in nature, chances are that it may stem from emotional issues such as anxiety and stress. Stress and anxiety can cause a number of physical problems, and tiredness is one of the most common manifestations of a stressful life.

If stress and anxiety is a problem, it is important to get to the root cause of that stress. If your job is causing you stress, it may be time to take a short vacation to recharge your batteries and come back rested and ready to work more effectively. If the stress is caused by a situation at home, it is a good idea to get a handle on the situation before it gets further out of control. Addressing the underlying stress that is causing your fatigue is the best way to make sure you can face life alert and ready to go.

The bottom line is that fatigue can be a difficult condition to diagnose and treat, but if you are able to get to the root cause of the fatigue, more than half of the battle is already over.

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Empowerment

Look up the word empowerment in the dictionary and you’ll find that it is described as an investment of power or being supplied with an ability.

Empowerment is a term very commonly and freely used in the self-help arena. Empowering oneself often means that you are giving taking the authority and the responsibility of carrying out discretionary actions to achieve a goal. To empower yourself means to give yourself the authority and capabilities to achieve your personal goals.

However, the term is often used to describe how someone can literally transform their own lives by changing the way they think and feel about themselves. And when their thinking changes, they can control their actions better and work towards being better beings and accomplish more things in shorter periods of time.

Self-empowerment also came to good use in the Human Potential Movement that came out of the social and intellectual milieu in the 1960s. The Human Potential Movement basically worked towards cultivation of extraordinary potential in human beings that are largely left untapped into. The Human Potential Movement strives to tap into the hidden talents of fellow human beings so that everyone can experience exceptional quality of life – become happier, more creative and…ultimately more fulfilled and satisfied with their lives.

Many advocate of self-empowerment don’t believe what they see and sometimes don’t see to believe. In saying this, it means that self-empowerment advocates often go beyond what they see. A fine example would be this – you don’t see air and yet you know it’s there. You don’t see success but it also doesn’t mean it’s not there. So why limit yourself? They believe that whatever it is that you see in your mind is true. As long as a person believe in whatever they are doing, they are right. Although some may disagree with this notion, this is a corollary belief that self-empowerment experts believe in.

Instead of seeing to believe, it would do us all a lot of good if we started to believe what we see. Whatever we choose to believe, that is what we will see. And when we do that, we will start to feel an overwhelming sense of self-empowerment and our lives will take a turn towards the better. We will be better empowered to pursue our beliefs, albeit our desires and goals.

Our world and our minds are often ruled by what we see, hear, feel, smell and say. But we forget – what about what we feel and see in our mind’s eye? Some people say its instincts. True, to a certain extent. Our heart is our sixth sense…and the most important one as well. While normal people will avoid or be indifferent to our deepest potential because we cannot see it, people who are empowered can see beyond what we can because they rely heavily on their sixth sense.

Whatever we believe and feel will become what we see. And this is what self-empowerment is all about – acting on our heart and seeing beyond that which we are accustomed to.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Ways to increase your level of effectiveness and success

Increasing your effectiveness and success, whether it be on the job or in the home, is certainly a worthy goal, and one that should be pursued with vigor. While effectiveness is a worthy goal, however, it can sometimes be a difficult one to achieve. Many people feel dissatisfied with the level of effectiveness they produce on the job, and many others are frustrated with their efforts at running a successful household.

There are techniques you can use to increase your level of effectiveness that will take only a little bit of time and effort on your part. One of the most important techniques to be as effective as you can be, both as an employee and as the head of your household, is to use proven methods to manage your time better. Managing the limited amount of time you have to do all the things you need to do is one of the best ways to get it all done without causing yourself undue stress.

In today’s modern world it can be quite a difficult task to manage time. The importance of time management, and the difficulty encounter in achieving it, can be seen in the many different time management products on the market. In fact, an entire industry has been built around helping people make the most of their time, and the products they push range from paper calendars to customized software programs.

Managing your time in a better way is certainly a good way to increase your level of effectiveness, both at home and at work. After all, if you can use the time you have more effectively, you will be able to get more done, both on the job and off.

Getting more done on the job, with fewer resources, is unfortunately a built in part of the workplace today. With the number of companies that have downsized continuing to grow, more and more employees are being asked to do jobs previously done by two, three or even four people. With this level of overwork, it is easy to see how each employees level of effectiveness can decrease. Staying effective on the job, therefore is even more important than ever before.

Of course, your job is not the only place your effectiveness is important. Being an effective parent and spouse is even more important, and it is easy for this important aspect of life to be overlooked in the hustle and bustle of modern life. However, it is important to never let your work life interfere with your effectiveness as a spouse, as a parent or both.

It can be difficult to keep your level of effectiveness, both of the professional and personal variety, as high as it needs to be particularly if you are feeling overworked on the job and underappreciated at home. It is important, however to use your best time management techniques, along with the real life experience you have gained, to keep your level of effectiveness, and your level of fulfillment and satisfaction, as high as they can be.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Dress for success

No one has to wait for an interview to learn how to dress well. Dressing well and dressing appropriately will help project a successful image of yourself and elicit a more positive response from others. You’ll be surprised at how people respond to you if you dressed differently. If you don’t believe it, try it. Try to sell someone something dressed in a corporate gear and then go home, change and come back out dressed in your pajamas and try to sell someone different the very same thing.

Dressing for success means…
Picking the right attire for the right occasion says a lot about you, your lifestyle and your personality. This is particularly important when you’re meeting someone for the first time. As you know, first impressions are hard (if not impossible) to reverse. If you’re going for an interview, needless to say, you’ll need to ditch the slippers, sandals, jeans and spaghetti straps…unless you want to project a very unconventional image of yourself.

Neatness also plays an important role. It’s not about how much money the suits actually cost but choose an appropriate garb that is neat (not creased and crumpled) tells others that you have an eye for detail and is professional. In fact, DON’T overdress. Overdressing can also send out wrong messages about you – like, “I am desperate!”

Compliment your skin tone and body shape
Bring focus to your positive features and downplay the importance of your negative ones. For example, if you have a thick waist, don’t bare it. If you have short legs, don’t wear A-line skirts. If you have tanned skin, don’t wear blindingly bright red clothes. Go for something that will make others focus on your positive features and bring their attention away from your negative ones. Although this rule applies mainly to women since they naturally have a wider range of choices in terms of clothing, men should also take special care to do the same.

Accessorize yourself
Sure, there’s no problem if you’d rather just go there with no accessories but since we’re on the topic of dressing for success, we’ll make a point here that is hard to misinterpret. If you accessorize yourself, you’re sending this message…. “The way I look is important to me. I take good care of myself and will likely take good care of the people who love me, care about me or know me”

You don’t have to overload yourself with everything you can dig out from the drawers. An earring with matching necklace says a lot. And how about matching handbag and shoes? Or at least make sure the color coordination between your outfit and your accessories don’t clash.

Trend is not everything
The image that you project through your dressing is not determined by the cost of the outfit, nor does it have anything to do with the trend. You can look good in anything that is not completely out-of-date but you don’t have to indulge too much money following the fashion trend. Go simple, neat, professional, dressed appropriately and comfortable and you’re right there with the best of them.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Learning and using decision-making skills

Everyone knows that learning proper decision-making skills is a vital part of success. Learning how to gather the best information, and learning how to use that information to make the right decisions, is an important part of not just your work life but your personal life as well.

Good decision-making skills are vital to the success of any enterprise, but unfortunately few schools teach people how to use critical thinking to make the decisions that matter most. It is important, therefore, to seek out this type of training and coaching, whether you are starting a new business, seeking to stand out at your current job, or just wanting to make better decisions in your personal life.

Unfortunately, however, there is no one method that will help you make the right decision every time out. Decision-making is definitely a learned art, and the right decision for one person may not be appropriate for the next. The key is to learn to prioritize your goals, and to learn how to apply the reason, intuition and critical thinking skills you already possess in order to make the best decision possible.

Gathering the most information you can is another vital part of learning to make the best decisions. After all, good decision-making requires good information, and without that information you will not be able to succeed, either in business or in life.

Knowing which information is important is an integral part of the decision making process. In the world of business, this means knowing whom the important players are on any project in which you are involved. It is important to consult not only the other managers and executives who are working on the project, but to talk with members of their staff as well. These staff members tend to play a vital role in the success of any project, and getting their input is a very important, but often overlooked, part of the overall decision-making process.

After you have identified whom the major players on your project are, it is time to sit down and work out the goals of the project, and how it can be made even more successful. Often a fresh set of eyes looking at the project can help you identify ideas or goals you may have overlooked, so it is important to ask others for help if you feel you need it. Understanding exactly what goals are to be achieved, and how everyone contributes to those goals, is an important part of learning the most effective decision making skills.

These decision-making skills can be even more important if you are in business for yourself. After all, when you are running your own business, you are totally responsible for your own success. It is therefore vital to learn the best decision making techniques before striking out on your own. There are a number of excellent resources available to help new business owners get started. It is important to take advantage of as many of these resources as you can. Not only will you learn the ins and outs of starting and running a business, but you will pick up some critical decision making skills along the way.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

The importance of confidence to success

The importance of confidence to success

When it come sot success in business and success in life, there are few qualities as important as confidence. Having the confidence it takes to know you can do what you set out to do is essential, whether you are negotiating a raise with your boss, striking a deal with an important supplier, or even dealing with your kids.

A confident and positive attitude is vital, so it is important to examine your own attitude, and to make the changes that are necessary to make your attitude match your goals. After all, setting goals is important, but reaching the goals you set is even more important. A positive attitude is essential to reaching the goals you seek, and a negative attitude can be a real impediment to getting the things you want.

Some people naturally have a higher level of confidence than do others, but even those whose confidence is lacking can learn to build their level of confidence and reach their most important goals. Increasing self esteem and confidence is one of the most common reasons people give for seeking the help of psychologists and other professionals, and these professional therapists can be a great source of help for those who feel they cannot reach their goals.

One of the many places a greater level of confidence comes in handy is in the workplace. We all know how difficult it can be, for instance, to ask the boss for a raise. This process can be overwhelmingly difficult for those who lack confidence in their own abilities. After all, if you are unsure about your own abilities, how will you ever convince your boss that you deserve more money for the work you do?

Even if you are not asking for that big raise, having plenty of confidence in your abilities is important to a successful career. If you are certain of your abilities, chances are that those around you, whether they are your coworkers, your colleagues or your superiors, will see that confidence, and that will help to assure them that you are the best at what you do.

Being perceived as the person to go to, and being seen as an expert in your chosen field, is naturally very important to success on the job. If you can make yourself the person people go to for guidance and advice, you will help to insulate yourself from the ever present danger of downsizing. After all, if you are a recognized expert at the office, you will be perceived as an indispensable member of the team.

Having a high level of confidence in your abilities is even more essential if you plan to leave the rat race behind and strike out on your own. Being an entrepreneur is not for everyone, but it can certainly provide a level of financial security that is almost impossible to match while working for someone else. Before starting that new business, however, it is important to take stock of your abilities, and to carefully examine your strengths and your weaknesses. Having a high level of confidence, after all, does not mean overlooking the places where you could improve. Knowing what you do well, and where you need help, will help you run a great business and enjoy increased success and confidence.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Good communication skills are your ticket to success

It seems that just about everyone is looking for that one key to success; the thing that will make them stand out from the crowd and get them the job they always wanted making the best salary in town. While there is no one major formula for achieving that success, it is almost impossible to go far in the business world without top-notch communication skills. As a matter of fact, communication skills are so important that there are entire books written on the subject, and there are quite a few motivational speakers that make a good living touting the importance of communication skills to business professionals.

It is important to remember that good communication skills are more than just the ability to write and speak well. Having top-notch communication skills means that you can persuade and motivate people, and help them to see things from your perspective. Having communication skills also means you have the ability to empathize with others and understand how the decisions you are making effects their lives.

It is easy to see, therefore, why communication skills are so important to the world of business and politics. It is essential, for instance, for a politician to be able to persuade an audience of the value of his or her ideas, just as it is important for an upper level manager to be able to persuade the board of directors of the value of his or her ideas.

Having good communication skills is even more essential for those running their own businesses. While an employee can always rely on his or her fellow employees for help, when you are running a business you are entirely responsible for your own future and your own success. Knowing how to communicate will be an essential skill as you seek start up financing, and ongoing financing for your new business venture. Having the best communication skills will also help you deal effectively with employees, customers and suppliers.

If you need help in developing your communication skills, there is plenty of help available. As we said earlier in this article, there are entire shelves at the local bookstore devoted to developing effective communication skills and using them well. In addition, live course on how to effectively communicate are very popular these days, and they can be a great way to learn a lot of communication techniques very quickly.

Listening, learning and communication on a regular basis is a good way to help your communication skills grow and evolve over time as well. As most people gain more experience in the business world, whether as an employee working for someone else or as an entrepreneur, they learn how to communicate better with those they come in contact with.

It is important to remember that listening well is actually one of the most important communication skills of all. Proper listening will help you understand just what the other party wants, what he or she values most, and how you can deliver those needs and wants. Serving the customer is essential, whether you are in business for yourself or working for someone else, so listening and other communication skills are indispensable to your success.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

How career coaches can enhance and increase your success

It has been said that career coaches are not just for high-powered executives anymore, and that is certainly true. Employees and business owners, no matter what the level of their career, can benefit from using career coaches to enhance their productivity, get the raise they deserve, or get noticed by the people in power.

Many people turn to career coaches only after a career setback, such as a layoff or other negative events. However, career coaches can be used successfully when things are going well also. After all, everyone has room for improvement in their lives and career, and career coaches can help you determine what you are doing right, and what you can improve.

It is important to pay close attention to your career, because your career path and salary level will in large part determine your financial, professional and even personal future. No matter what your ultimate career goals, career coaches can help you reach those goals. For instance, if early retirement is your goal, your career coach can help you get the most out of your working years, and help you make the most of the money you earn.

If your goals are more ambitious and you have your eye on the big corner office, career coaches can help you focus your ambition in the most fruitful direction. If your goal is a big promotion, or to one day run the company, it is important to understand where the true seat of power lies in your part of the organization, and to use that seat of power to advance your career. Networking is essential in the world of business, whether it is landing a job or getting a promotion.

Negotiating a better salary, a more generous package of benefits, or both, is another facet of your professional life where career coaches can help. It is never easy to ask the boss for more money, and in today’s leaner times there is often less money allocated for raises and bonuses. It is therefore more important than ever to know how to present yourself and how to make the case that you deserve more money for what you do. Career coaches can help you make a compelling case by helping you highlight your past accomplishments and put them in perspective.

Of course you do not have to work for someone else to benefit from what career coaches have to offer. Career coaches can be quite valuable to those starting and running their own businesses as well. The focus these professionals can provide business owners can be a huge benefit. Once you know what you are doing right and what you can improve, you will be in a much better position to make your business one of those great success stories.

Knowing what your strengths and weaknesses are is essential to success in business and in life. Knowing what you do best, and what you need help with, is the first step to succeeding, whether you are running your own business or trying to climb the corporate ladder.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Building confidence

Reading about confidence and actually having it are very different issues. You can read about it your entire life, but you won’t have it until you make a move to achieve it. It’s not something that comes easily either. You will make mistakes along the way towards building confidence and this should be expected. Just like riding a horse or a bike, you’ll fall and scrape your knees a few times, but then you have to get back up there and go for it.

Just get on the saddle and do it
One fine day, you’re going to have to do it. Watching and reading about it won’t do any good at all if you want to have confidence in life. The real deal is that you’re going to have to get on the saddle and start to paddle. Why, you say? Confidence is not theory. Confidence is a feeling and state of mind. Therefore, it’s not completely possible for any one to build confidence without having to do something about it. So, go on and start doing whatever it is that you want to have confidence in.

Do the right things and confidence will come almost too-naturally to you.

Experience builds confidence
Money and gold won’t buy you confidence. They don’t come in a nice packaging off the shelves. Pharmacies don’t carry them. And physicians can’t hand you ‘confidence’ in a bottle marked ‘take three times a day’. The only person who can give you or prescribe you confidence is…. sadly, yourself.

The reason why we say ‘get on with it and do it’ is because we want you to have experience. You see, the more times you do something (it doesn’t matter whether you fail more times at it than you succeed), the better you get at it (slowly but surely). The better you get at it, the more confidence you will have. It’s impossible to see it right now but you have indeed improved. You’ve made progress, you can’t see it, but you are! And the more experience you have, the more confident you will become.

How confident you want to become depends on yourself. You’re steering the boat so, you decide when you’re confident enough. But ultimately, like they always say…. practice makes perfect!

Faking confidence
Fake it enough, you’ll soon realize that you don’t even need to fake it. Wear the right clothes, behave in a certain way (without going overboard) and one day, you won’t even have to make an effort to appear or behave confidently. Start talking confidently without stammering. No ‘uh’ and no ‘ah’ makes you sound confident. And the behavior and feelings become so real and so natural that you are confident by default!

While you cannot fake confidence in your game of tennis (because actions speak louder than words), you can behave confidently when you lose. When that is the case, your feelings and whatever it is in your mind becomes real. And like they say, whatever that is in your mind will one day transform into something real.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Brain wave tapes

With the current level of modern-day stress, it’s hardly surprising to know that the latest to join the brain-related-problem-solver methods are called Brain Wave tapes. These are auditory assistance to help people overcome fears, solve problems, eliminate stress, refocus their lives, lose weight, sleep better…and generally just synchronize their minds. By synchronizing your mind, you will be able to achieve much more in life.

Despite the suspiciousness of these claims, many testify that the received effective treatment from the brain wave tapes that they listen to. The brain wave tapes are developed to trigger peak performance in mental states. Brain wave tapes have been shown to effectively turn lives around to accelerate learning, increase productivity, and improve memory. Whatever it is that you want to achieve, there’s something for you in the wide range of brain wave tapes in the market.

There are many different types of brain wave tapes available. There are, generally speaking, the Alpha, Beta, Theta and Delta brain wave tapes. Each of these brain wave tapes are essentially designed to restructure parts of your brain that deals with specific daily tasks. And it is through these methods that users of these tapes will benefit the most. For instance, meditation brain wave tapes are extraordinarily popular among users because of the relaxing, soul-searching, soothing and calming music that gently calms the torrents of emotions within a person who is going through a difficult time. Such audio assistance makes the process of detachment and meditation more effective.

Brain wave tapes are so popular now that even patients with critical illnesses are reaping benefits from them. For instance, there’s a client who is suffering from a rare bone disease. Now, as with all other types of bone diseases, the pain can be excruciating, therefore, consumption of morphine to help ease the pain is inevitable and necessary. This patient did not want to rely on morphine. Instead, she started using brain wave tapes. She explains how she completely cured herself of her reliance on morphine by using brain wave tapes! The result, therefore, is quite limitless.

In fact, brain wave tapes are continually used as an alternative method to help cure insomnia, help people quit smoking, get over fear, enjoy exercise and improve concentration. With the rising popularity of this method, it’s hardly surprising that there are many different types of brain wave generators there are out there in the market – particularly, the Internet. You can literally log into a website and design your very own brain wave audio tape and save it into your computer! Compiling music and adding background sounds (like sound of birds chirping, waterfall, jungle sounds, etc) is extremely easy and affordable.

While there is no concrete scientific proof that the brain wave tape method works, the testimony from so many happy and satisfied customers is proof enough. They have been relentlessly singing praises about the brain wave tape programs that they use to help them make life a better experience. And with such proof, it’s hard not to believe.

While one cannot change the facts of life, one can definitely change the way one works around an obstacle life throws at you. With brain wave tapes, it makes the journey that much easier.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Baby steps

Do you expect to take one giant, big leap into the realm of success? Do you think one single decision, one event or one success will take you on the road to your final destination? If yes, you’re in for a ride. Success is a series of small successes. There’s no giant leap but instead, there are small baby steps that will take you to where you want to go. To get to point Z, you’ll need to go to A, then B, then C and then D….progressively until you reach point Z.

This is also commonly known as micro-movement. Micro-movement is a method of breaking down the steps you need to accomplish something into small, tiny, little baby steps that are manageable and conceivable. It could be something like writing down your dreams and goals, or maybe talking it out with a friend…whatever suits you.

Brainstorming
You don’t need to have a team of people to brainstorm with. If this is a personal goal, you can sit there brainstorming with or by yourself. The most important thing is for you to acknowledge and recognize the dream or goal, sit down and evaluate it every day. Plan and organize yourself and move in the general direction of the goal.

Enjoy each baby step that you take
If you are learning how to swim, do you leap off into the deep end or jump into the shallow end of the pool and splash around in the water first? The answer is quite obvious. You’d get into the shallow end and get used to the feel of having water surround you and learn to love water. Jumping off the deep end will not only scare you from ever swimming again, but you might end up discouraging others from swimming too!

Passionate baby steps
Nothing can stand in your way if you are passionate about achieving your goals. ABSOLUTELY nothing. But before you decide to do that, you will need to do some self-exploration and discover yourself. Find out what buttons to push and what really lights your fire. Take your time doing this because if you rush yourself, you might just be jumping into the same bandwagon as the people around you. For example, if your friend, Sally, is into writing, you might find yourself thinking, ‘Gee, it looks kind of fun. And I like it. Maybe THAT is what I am passionate about?’

You don’t let something like that influence your decision. Make a list of things you like to do during your free time…from childhood to adulthood. Then at the side of each item, write down the reason why you like to do it.

As an example:
1. reading knowledge and imagination
2. singing applause and recognition
3. knitting sense of accomplishment, satisfaction.

Take action towards each small goal
Taking baby steps towards your goal means taking action every day. Every small action is a single step in the right direction. Understand and remind yourself that a giant leap is not necessary, you should be patient and let your passion guide you in each baby step that you take towards your final destination.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Awareness

Knowing and understanding one’s own mentality can help us along during our journey towards success. Mentality is sometimes defined as a subconscious readiness of an individual to behave or expect someone else to behave. Although we have a string of stereotyped characters or personalities listed out, we won’t list it out here because we don’t want you to think that you have to be a certain way in order to be successful. That’s because anyone can be successful if they adopt the right behavior and right attitude.

You see, every single minute of the day, we go through various activities and through these activities, our mind is stimulated with lots of input through our five senses. Our conscious mind can only absorb so much information and it has to filter the rest out. This is the job of the subconscious mind. Whatever we deem as not urgent, immediate or unimportant will be filtered out and kept in our subconscious mind…or thrown out altogether.

We can use this to our advantage and we need to make a mental shift and create an awareness that was never there before…or is already there but we have been ignoring it or procrastinating. Have you ever experienced something like this before?

If you’re trying to buy a car, you suddenly see the very same car that you fancy everywhere on the road. The fact is that the car has always been there and many other people are already driving the same car. And yet, it is only NOW that you see the cars everywhere on the road. This is because you have moved the car from your subconscious mind to your conscious mind. What used to be filtered information is now left in the conscious mind.

And here, we will make a mental shift - moving a goal into BOTH parts of your mind. The conscious mind AND the subconscious mind.

Make a goal - a definitive and profoundly important goal. A long-term goal to achieve something you want to achieve in life. Write it down in your journal or a piece of paper. You’re imprinting and making yourself AWARE of the goal whether you’re sleeping or awake. Another way to make yourself aware of your goal is to read the goal out load and check back on it regularly. Some people recommend that in order to make yourself aware of your goal, you can surround change your surrounding or even cut and paste pictures related to your goal into your journal or a special GOAL book. You are letting your goal burn, imprint and emboss itself into your subconscious mind.

This is where your life will change.

When you become aware of your goal, every single minute of the day, every decision you make and every thought you have will steer you in the direction of your goal. Yes, you will consciously make decisions to reach your goal but what you ultimately want is to make decisions, subconsciously, towards your goal too.

The power of the subconscious mind cannot be denied. Once you imprint your goals into your subconscious mind, you’re practically and literally unstoppable!

Monday, October 17, 2005

Attitude is everything – the old phrase is true

We have all heard the old phrase - attitude is everything, and that phrase is certainly true. Your attitude can have a profound impact on your level of success, so it is important to keep that positive attitude no matter what challenges and roadblocks are thrown up in your way.

As a matter of fact, keeping your attitude a positive one in the face of overwhelming odds is one thing the owners of the most successful businesses have in common. The most successful business owners, from the Sam Walton to Bill Gates, have all been able to triumph in the face of adversity. It is those successful business owners many people have in mind when they tell you that attitude is everything.

We all know that the old saw that attitude is everything is true, but how you deal with that knowledge that will determine your level of success, or your lack of success.

One of the most important ways to implement that attitude is everything axiom is to watch who you associate with and who you surround yourself with. That is because surrounding yourself with negative people can cause their negative attitudes to rub off on you. When people say attitude is everything that applies to negative attitudes as well as positive ones.

Surrounding yourself with those people exhibiting positive attitudes, however, will also be contagious, but in a good way. Keeping your network of associates, colleagues, coworkers and friends as positive as possible is a great way to put the phrase “attitude is everything” into practical use.

Whatever you decide to do in life, your attitude will have a profound effect on the success you achieve. Success, whether in the world of business or in your personal life, is directly related to your attitude, and the attitude you bring to your work.

A positive attitude will help you achieve greater success in your job, no matter what your current level of employment. Many people are still able to work their way up through their companies, even in today’s competitive environment. Exhibiting a positive attitude can go a long way toward helping you get the most from your employment, and it can help you get the attention of those in a position to help your career as well. That is because those business achievers are likely to understand that attitude is everything, and they can recognize your positive attitude and award it appropriately.

A positive can do attitude is important to being a quality employee, but taking the phrase attitude is everything to heart is absolutely essential if you plan to start your own business. Whether your plans are for a one person part time enterprise, or a nationwide company employing hundreds or thousands of people, the attitude you express will be reflected in your business and in the members of your staff. If you show a positive attitude to your employees, they will be willing to go the extra miles to make your business thrive, and everyone will benefit.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Ask yourself a question - are you a complainer?

When it comes to understanding a lack of success, there is one important question to ask yourself. That question is: are you a complainer? If you answered yes to that question, chances are that negativity and those complaints play an important role in your lack of success.

That is because a negative attitude can be a major impediment to your success. After all, if you do not believe you can succeed, no one else will believe in your success either. If, on the other hand, you are able to put that negative attitude behind you and turn it into positive energy, you will be in a position to enjoy greater success than you ever thought possible.

If you can answer the question with a no instead of a yes, chances are you can enjoy the success you have always dreamed of. And since success breeds success, you may be able to achieve more with a change of attitude than you ever even thought possible.

It all boils down to the answer to a simple question: are you a complainer? While being a complainer may make you feel a little better at the time, it will hurt you a great deal in the long run. It is far better to change your attitude for the better, enjoy the success you deserve, and use that success to help others succeed as well.

As a matter of fact, giving back to the community, and helping others succeed, is one of the best ways to enhance both your success and your happiness. After you have answered the question with a solid no, it is time to use what you have learned to help others succeed as much as you have.

Helping other people enjoy the success you have achieved is a great way to both enjoy your success and share it with others. After all, everyone loves to share their secrets of success, and sharing those secrets with a willing audience is what makes business and professional groups such a popular way to share tips and information.

One of the best ways to accomplish that worthy goal is to volunteer in your local community. Most areas of the country have at least one service organization where professional businesspeople and business owners help those who are just starting out. Helping people get their start in business is a great way to give back to the community and help potential business owners answer the question for themselves.

Giving back to the community through volunteerism is another great way to give back to the community that has provided you with so much success. Volunteering your time, in addition to giving your money, is a great way to give enjoy a fulfilling and enjoyable life. So ask yourself: are you a complainer? Then take the steps you need to achieve a positive attitude and a great level of success.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Achievement, reaching your goals and success.

When it comes to reaching the pinnacle of success, it can be difficult to know where to turn for advice. It seems that everyone and his brother is touting the one way to the greatest level of achievement, and it can be hard to know whom to trust. The real truth is that there is no one key to achievement. What works for one person may not necessarily be right for the next person.

It is important, therefore, to evaluate your own individual goals when thinking about your achievement and accomplishments. Every person will have a different set of goals, and therefore they will need a different strategy for achieving those goals. While some employees have their eyes on the corner office, and see this as the ultimate achievement, others would rather put in their time as a quality employee and take early retirement to enjoy the rest of their life. These two goals are very different, so it just makes sense that how these goals are achieved will differ.

Other people may view achievement as not being an employee at all. Many people view the ultimate achievement as being responsible for themselves by starting their own business and being in charge of their own future. There is nothing like owning a business to bring yourself face to face with the importance of achievement and goals. If you can serve the customer better than anyone else, your business is likely to be a success. Many people love the challenges of running their own business, as well as the sense of achievement and accomplishment that comes with it.

Of course, the importance of achievement does not end at the office door. Achievement and self-fulfillment are just as important to a successful and happy personal life as they are to a profitable and fulfilling business life. Setting personal goals, and enjoying the feeling of achievement that comes with meeting them is every bit as important as being successful at your job and enjoying what you do.

Unfortunately, many people get so wrapped up in making their careers a success that they fail to focus on the importance of their personal lives. It is important to include your family in any major decisions, and to take time to enjoy their many goals and achievements as well as your own. Without a happy personal life, even the greatest financial success can be hollow and unfulfilling.

The bottom line is that there is no one key to success and achievement, no matter how much we wish there were. Every person must make his or her own plans for achieving their most important goals, and those goals will be different for every individual. The key to a successful and happy career is much the same as the key to a happy and successful personal life. The secret is to balance the personal and the professional, to set goals properly, and to know what is truly important in your life.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Turning Nothing into Something

Have you ever read a signboard (usually seen on a corridor or a hallway) that says something like “If you have nothing to do, don’t do it here?” The subtle message here is to avoid loitering.

If you analyze this expression, it does make sense. But if you look at it in a deeper dimension, there is a strong message being delivered here - a message that has relevance to success in life. It is like a wake up call to the reality of life.

Your conscience is the one telling you to stop wasting your time, to do something with your life, and to do your best to achieve a goal. You have to listen to your conscience’s call because if you don’t, it is nobody’s loss but your own.

You must find out if there are any hindrances that are holding you back from moving forward in life. Is it financial condition? Is it social status, age, color, race, religion, educational background, gender, or a handicap? If you look at history, none of those mentioned above were considered hindrances. The explanation is simple. If you think you’re a failure, then you probably are. If you think you’re a success (even if you’re not yet successful), then the universe will work hard towards bringing you to fulfillment.

So the first thing you have to do is to flip the word “failure.” Look at it on the other side, and spell it out as “success.” Letter “f” becomes “s,” letter “a” becomes “u”, and so on.

Next thing on the list, you have to use your navigational instinct. Know what you want, where you’re headed, and how to get there. Find out what you are aiming for. Don’t run around headless.

If you can’t decide on what you want, here are two simple guides. Guide one is to find out what you love or like to do - something you enjoy doing. This is following your heart’s desire. When you love what you do, you’ll stick to it, no matter what. Your level of perseverance is higher and you won’t give up easily. This will keep you going and you won’t stop at anything until you achieve it. This will ensure success.

Guide two is to find a need and fill it. This principle is attributed to a great instrumentalist and has been the guiding principle of many other industrialists ever since. Look around. Be an observant. Check out what kind of product or service your community needs to enhance life improvement and development. It may take some effort and time to find out what it is or what they are, but it will be worth it. Sometimes when you’re looking for something, it is difficult to find it. Other times when you’re not looking but you’re just maintaining an open mind, ideas can come flowing into your mind effortlessly and spontaneously. Call it timing. There is always a right time for everything.

Once you know what you want to do, you will know where you’re heading. Between the “what” and the “where” is the “how” to get there. And this is the most important part of a successful life. It’s action time.

Try dividing a story or movie feature into three parts (what the story is about, how the story goes, and the ending of the story). The lengthiest part is how the story goes. This is where the action is. The outcome of the story is determined by the action that takes place. All three parts of the story are important. However, the middle portion is more significant than the other two.

This is the same with your purpose - to succeed in life. To achieve your goal, the action part takes the most time, effort, and material support to get to where you want to be. It is the part of your life where you are going to experience all the ups and downs, laughter and tears, joys and pains. But it’s all going to be worth it. In the end, as you look at the trail you left behind, you’ll be glad you went through it all.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Effective Tips for Memory Retention

Without doubt, exercise is one of the most effective ways to stay healthy - physically, mentally, and emotionally. Although exercise is directly equated to the physical aspect of an individual, emotional and mental benefits can likewise be derived from it.

While muscle mass is identified to physical exercise, memory retention is identified to mental exercise. This is made possible by answering crossword puzzles, memorizing quotes, poems or songs, playing cards, and trivial pursuits. All these fun games and reading materials are exercising tools for the mind. Although these things are primarily designed for fun, their secondary purpose is to enhance the mind’s memory retention. Another way of practicing memory retention is by remembering instead of putting in writing a day’s schedule of activities that need to be done. If this is done with ease, you can even stretch your schedule to several days.

Consider these other tips:

Relieve yourself from stress - When you are under stress, your body shows various symptoms. You become emotionally disturbed and your mind is preoccupied, so there is no room left to remember other things especially new ones. Therefore, you must unload the stress off your mind and unwind by utilizing relaxation techniques. Exercise is one of the best ways to get rid of your tensions. It also comes with a load of other health benefits.

Associate with things - The association technique is an old way of remembering things, persons, names, numbers, and others wherein you associate someone or something with the first thing that comes to your mind. It might not be the best technique but it still works because it seems to be inherent within us. Here’s a list of 10 items you can associate with numbers, one to ten:
One - me (one person)
Two - shoe (it comes in pairs)
Three - tree (it rhymes)
Four - table (it has four legs)
Five - fingers (one hand has 5 fingers)
Six - sticks (5,6 pick up sticks)
Seven - dwarfs (snow white and the seven dwarfs)
Eight – cell phone (when you flip it open, looks like a number 8)
Nine - playing cards (lucky 9)
Ten - Indians (10 little Indian boys)

Match names to pictures - When someone is introduced to you, do you find it difficult to remember his name? That may be a likely case. However, the person’s face is not easily forgotten. If you come across that person again, the first thing that you might remember is his face; but it’s likely that you won’t remember his name. You may also forget where you met the person before. Try this: When someone new is introduced to you, identify something on the person to make you remember him - something different or noticeable on the individual that you may use to remember the next time you meet each other. Examples may include a mole in the face, a large nose, or shaggy hair.

Call a person by name - The name is the sweetest sound to one’s ear. Repeating somebody’s name the first time you meet him is sub-consciously committing the person’s name to your memory. After your first meeting, recall his name once in a while. This strengthens the retention of the person’s name to your memory.

When trying to recall something you can’t remember but “it’s at the tip of your tongue,” try to be relaxed and you will recall it easier. Forcing yourself to recall something will put you under stress, thereby lessening your chances of retention success.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

What’s Your Excuse for Not Being Successful in Life?

Excuses! Excuses! When we fail to do something we are expected to do, we almost always have an excuse for it. However, if we analyze it closely, an excuse is a self-destructive alibi for having failed to do something, especially when it involves attaining a goal. Instead of trying to persevere in finding ways to continue achieving a goal, some of us resort to excuses.

Even a handicap cannot be used as an excuse. Many handicapped but determined people have become achievers and champions. Instead of using a handicap as an excuse, let us turn it into an asset. Let us explore this further.

A handicap need not be a reason for failure. On the contrary, a handicap can be a reason for success.

A person with a handicap has one obsession - to lead a normal life. Depending on the handicap, a person would prefer to be as independent as possible. So he struggles and finds ways to overcome his impediment. When he is able to achieve his goal, this raises his self-esteem. In turn, he inspires others.

Everybody has handicaps in varying forms and degree. That is why, it requires effort and determination to overcome them. Handicaps can either be physical, financial, or emotional. And they can either be real or imagined.

Whenever we look at a handicap, we almost always look on the negative side only. It’s about time we take a look at the positive side of it. The positive side may be the difficult side, but it’s the one worth looking into. It’s the side that is going to lead us to excel in life.

If you think your handicap is physical, like having a weak body, you can counteract this through proper diet and training exercises. As long as the physical parts of your body are intact and mobile, there’s no reason why you cannot make it strong and useful. Why? Even those without a leg (for example) can be made to walk or run normally. With the advancement of science, artificial legs can help a handicap function with great mobility.

It your handicap is financial, then the more reason you have to rise above your present status. And if your financial status limits your educational attainment to improve your life, the school is not the only place to learn. Certainly, there are help centers to get you started even from zero level. Once you are initially warmed up with the basics of an education, the rest is up to you. Make use of libraries. Once you are educationally equipped, use your brain and come up with creative ideas to improve your life.

If you are emotionally disturbed with negative thoughts, it is like you are sitting on a chair with wobbling legs. Try sitting on a chair with sturdy legs; meaning, look at the bright, positive side of life. Put aside negativity and start thinking positively. The only one who can stop you is yourself.

If your handicap is a combination of any of the physical, financial, or emotional type, congratulations. You should strive more to overcome them, because a double layer of perseverance results to more than double the achievement. Where the odds are greater, the prize gets much bigger. After all the efforts you have exerted, the prize of success shall be a well-deserved one.

So what’s your excuse for not being successful?

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

How to Develop Toughness

The human body has the capability of protecting itself from various diseases through its immune system. We do not discount the fact that the immune systems of some people are healthier than that of others.

Why is this so? The answer lies in the fact that your disposition in life affects your health significantly. If you develop a positive attitude, you will also develop toughness to overcome adversities that may come your way. Researchers have proven that mental health has much to do with physical health. A healthy mental attitude results to a healthy body, which in turn results to a more productive life.

Stick to these personality factors and you’re well on your way to developing toughness:

Build a strong commitment to self, family, community, work, and almost all other values of your daily life. Instill the importance of quality living. This will drastically improve your psychological and physical well being. What the mind contributes to a healthy body, the body will reciprocate. The mind and body works in tandem, as a team. Without one, the other is helpless. But when both are healthy, the results can be astonishing.

Develop a positive guiltless disposition. When you say guiltless, you must be willing to accept whatever comes your way. For example, if you do your best to reduce your risk of acquiring health problems but some illnesses still develop nonetheless, you must never feel guilty for what seems to be a failure. Don’t let problems pull you down. Stand firm.

Make sure you have full control of your life. This is one quality tough people are made of. You should have no problem managing the things you can control. Controlling does not mean dominating. Respect other people’s rights and get the same in return. Accept things you cannot control the way they are, if you cannot do without them. If you can do without them, leave them and divert your attention to something else that will make your life more meaningful.

Adjust to change and use it to your advantage. Tough people welcome change as an opportunity to improve, rather than a threat. Even if it is a threat, you can come out one level better than before psychologically, despite all the beatings you might have taken physically. You learn from your mistakes. Adopt a “Next time, I know what I’m going to do to avoid the same mistake” attitude. There is always a first time and there will always be a next time. The succeeding times will always be better than the previous ones (if you learn from your mistakes). The setbacks will keep getting lesser while success will keep getting closer at hand. This is progress at work.

If you have children, develop toughness in their attitude at an early age. Provide strong parental encouragement and acceptance. When children feel accepted, this develops in them a sturdy attitude of commitment to others. Assign casual tasks to them so that they can feel their place in life. Teach them how to become independent and responsible. It pays to enhance their toughness at an early age.

What is foundation to a building, toughness is to people. Foundation of a building is made strong at the start of construction, while the foundation of tough people is enhanced through a continuous process of trials and adjustments.

Monday, October 10, 2005

Burnout Busters

“That’s it! I’ve had enough!” You may subconsciously utter these words when life’s stressful challenges reach the peak of emotional exhaustion.

Formerly the word “burn out” is used to describe busted electric bulbs. Somehow, the word burnout came to origin and is now also used to describe emotional drain in humans. For light bulbs, it is irreversible. Luckily for humans, this is only temporary; self-help remedies are readily available to get us out of this predicament.

Apply these tips:

1. Take time outs to savor the fresh scent of nature, especially flowers. The sight and the fragrance that flowers bring can be great relief to a tired, irritated, or dragged feeling. If you love nature, nothing is more invigorating than flowers and plants. They represent nature in its true essence.

2. Examine if your burnout is a result of doing something you don’t like to do, yet you have to face it just the same. In such case, picture in your mind an image that you like to do and substitute this image to the thing you don’t like to do. Somehow, this strategy of imagery helps to lessen the tiring weight of the thing you despise to act upon. In the process, your task gets done with less resistance on your part and it would even probably reach the point that you would enjoy doing it. Before you even know it, the job is already done and probably with favorable results.

3. Gather physical energy. Ginseng is an energy food. Most health food stores sell it. You can either take it as a tea drink or mix it in your cooking for a wholesome meal. Ginseng comes in a variety of strengths. The more potent it is, the better your physical (and mental) performance will be. If you’re not very familiar with it, just ask your health food store representative and they will gladly help you out.

4. Take time out to regain your composure. A burnout can be equated to an individual who could use a time out from the hustles of life. This is similar to a coach of a basketball team asking for a time out to come up with a winning game plan when his team is not playing at its peak. Take advantage of this time out to meditate and relax those frenzied nerves.

5. Take time out to empty your mind. Pick up and round up useful memories and discard those damaging emotions and negative thoughts.

6. Discover a newfound freedom, free from emotional drain. Go on a picnic with the family, a camping trip out in the woods, or a weekend excursion to a totally different environment.

7. Listen to relaxing music. It lifts us emotionally. You may want to choose specific sounds that can relieve a person from burnout like soft Classical melodies.

8. Indulge. It’s quite common to hear from somebody: “I just want to get home and soak myself in a bathtub.” Quite true, this can help overcome burnout. Better yet, go to a spa where you can get a treatment package from massage to whirlpool baths.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Panic Attack is Like a Coin

We all know how a coin looks like. Many of us would be curious whenever we come across a newly minted, recently circulated coin. We even go to the extent of looking for one just to get a glimpse of it, for curiosity’s sake. Once you get a hold of it, do you look at one side only? Of course not, you gaze at both sides. You may even grab a magnifying glass to take a closer and more detailed look.

But for an old or previously circulated coin, we don’t usually take a close look at its appearance. We just look at it to check if it’s a quarter or a nickel whenever we use it to pay for something. We rarely examine both sides of a coin.

Actually, this is how some of us treat panic attacks - like a coin. We only look at panic attacks on one side - the side that brings disastrous effects. We rarely look at the other side – that of the positive side.

Let us illustrate this through a situation. Let’s say the city where you live have just been hit by a powerful earthquake. At the time of the quake, you might have been shocked or stunned. Soon after the quake, your shock subsides. But the thought of an aftershock may have crossed your mind. Then you begin to feel anxious that ultimately leads to a panic attack. The thought of an aftershock due to the earthquake makes your knees shake and your forehead sweaty. It gets you all worried. You can feel in your nerves the tingling sensation as if your entire body is revolting against you. All of these may transpire because of the thought of an impending aftershock.

“What’s going to happen next?” Will I be like one of those victims of the trembler that just hit us? Will I be spared from future disasters?” These questions would most likely race through your mind, with one common denominator - they are negatively inclined.

We are not saying this isn’t normal. It’s perfectly normal to think this way. Nobody’s claiming that earthquakes are not frightening. Just the thought of the ground moving when it shouldn’t be can send shivers down the spine.

You may also ask, “What must I do to save myself?” Actually, you must find an answer to this question, not only to be saved from an aftershock; but more importantly, to be saved from having a panic attack. If you can save yourself from panic attacks, you can eliminate a lot of problems.

Just how are you going to do it? For starters, you may overcome panic attacks through the mind. The positive way of thinking is the first and probably the best approach to cure panic attacks. Like a coin, you’ve seen the negative sides of your mind - the consequence or tragedy that an earthquake brings. Now let’s look at the other side of the coin. Instead of worrying about the harm that an aftershock might bring, the thought of having survived a powerful earthquake should encourage you to be more confident of surviving an aftershock which is usually of lesser intensity. This thought alone, should be enough to diffuse a panic attack. This thought will also prevent future panic attacks from setting foot into your mind.

It is important to identify what causes a panic attack. Equally important is to think in a positive way. If your mind has room for negative thoughts like doomsday and the like, your mind must also have room for positive thoughts to find ways of preventing or minimizing destruction. Actually, you must find ways for your positive thoughts to dominate your negative thoughts. To do this, you have to exercise your mind by telling it to “Think positive! Think positive!” In due time, improvements in positive mental attitude will prosper over any negative thoughts. So keep your mind chanting this slogan “Think positive!” whenever you feel a panic attack coming your way.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

What’s in a Handshake?

All over the globe, people greet each other in different ways. This is brought about by different cultures. Even the primitives of yesterdays down to the present tribal groups use greetings to show respect and acknowledgement of meeting one another.

The primitives show their hands as a gesture that they come in peace. A roman salute during the time of Julius Caesar is done with the right hand clenched in a fist and sharply drawn to the chest. Grasping each other’s forearm by the hand is also practiced then. In the western world, youngsters greet each other with a high five (at times with both hands). Soldiers greet their superiors with a snappy salute. The typical handshake among the general public is done with each other’s palms interlocking.

If you are traveling to different places, it is still best to check first what the local custom is with regards to the proper greeting procedure. It is better to do it correctly than to be sorry after doing it. There’s a saying: “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.” Proper greeting or handshake best describes this expression.

To know the right greeting procedure, ask around the local circle. Your good intention might be interpreted as an insult and you know what follows thereafter, especially in places where you’re a visitor. This becomes more important if you’re a first timer to a particular country wherein you’re not familiar with the cultures.

There are incidences wherein a handshake accompanied by another gesture is interpreted in more ways than one. Take for example, a typical handshake done by some politicians. A common handshake accompanied by a grasp by the left hand to the right hand or to the right shoulder of the other person may have different meanings to some people. Some interpret it as being overly comfortable with the other person when in fact the politician hardly knows the person. Between close friends, this may be proper. But between two individuals who hardly know each other, this may mean otherwise.

The lesson here is to be reserved in your gesture. What is intended to be good might not be interpreted as such.

In the event that there is confusion on how the proper gesture in a locality is administered, it may be safer to throw a sincere smile instead of a handshake. Since a handshake is considered a type of body language, so is a smile. A smile almost always never fails in any culture around the world.

Local folks who extend their hands or greet first may also give you an idea of the way a greeting is administered in a certain place. Duplicating what they do or simply returning the favor can be safely assumed to be the proper way a greeting should be done in that place.

Some athletes who have strong hands are cautious in shaking hands because they fear hurting other people’s hands. As for those whose livelihood is dependent on their hands, like surgeons, dentists, and musicians, they are likewise cautious in shaking other people’s hands. This time it’s their hands they want to protect.

So, what’s in a handshake? It may be just a casual greeting but it may also mean a lot.

Friday, October 07, 2005

Getting to Know the Art of Non-Verbal Communication

Basically, communication is conveyed in verbal form. The conveyor talks or writes while the recipient listens to or reads the message. However, there is another form of communication based on gestures or body movements. This art of non-verbal communication is better known as body language.

Although spoken communication is a direct way to convey a message, it can be masked. In body language, the message can be conveyed in a truer sense or form. However, this depends on the interpretation of the recipient of the message.

With this in mind, it is important to familiarize yourself with this art of non-verbal communication. How a message is interpreted, correctly or wrongly, may have drastic, dramatic implications.

Given the chance to come face to face to communicate with each other, you may be able to realize and verify the truthfulness of the message being conveyed.

Let’s pick a simple scenario to illustrate non-verbal communication. Let us say a former officemate of yours called you to propose a business partnership. This officemate is just one of your casual acquaintances. He’s not exactly a confidant whom you would treat as a close buddy. He asked that the two of you meet somewhere and you obliged. So you wind up meeting him in a coffee shop. After the usual handshake (this is one type of body language), both of you took a seat and ordered coffee. After a few exchanges of pleasantries and recalling past incidences while you were still officemates, you touched on the subject of his business proposal. While in the process of presenting the proposed business, you occasionally interrupted him with questions that he readily answered. Subconsciously, while you continued to listen to his proposal, you kept touching your nose with your index finger, rubbing it once in a while as if covering the nose with your hand.

After the proposal has been made, he asked for your comment if his proposal merits your acceptance. He’s not asking for an immediate answer or decision if you’re interested or not, giving you enough time to study it. However, your first impression of the proposal was somewhat inclined on rejecting it. Your main reason was that you are not familiar with the line of business he’s proposing, and to go into unfamiliar business simply does not interest you.

But in spite of your negative perception of the proposal, you didn’t want to disappoint your former officemate, at least not at that moment. Before you gave the final word that you would seriously study the proposal, you made some initial comments about it to the tune that it may seem to merit your approval although it really didn’t. While you were making your comment, subconsciously and again, you touched your nose with one hand while talking.

It’s observed that during the entirety of your discussion, you frequently made one move, touching your nose. Are you aware that touching your nose is a gesture that means you’re not saying what you really felt or meant? Studies suggest that saying something while touching the nose is not reflective of what’s being said. In this case, rubbing the nose is tantamount to disapproval of the proposal presented to you.

Although there is no definite basis that this gesture is a sign of disapproval or disagreement or rejection, it has a high rate of probability. Only you know your real intention.

You may see this same gesture from other people if you were in the shoes of your officemate. But keep in mind that there may be other reasons. An itchy nose, a sinus that keeps bothering the listener, mannerism, halitosis on either the part of the conversationalist or the listener or both - anyone of these could be the real reason.

Keep in mind that interpretation of body language has a high probability rate but it may not necessarily be definite.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

How to Manage Panic Attacks with the Proper Diet

There is a saying “For every action, there’s an equal reaction.” The foods you eat can have a significant effect when it comes to curbing panic attacks.

In this article, you will find means to prevent panic attacks by means of controlling, avoiding, or reducing the foods that trigger such disorder. On the other hand, you will also be encouraged to consume more foods that minimize panic attacks, keeping in mind a well-balanced diet.

Panic attacks directly affect the nervous system; therefore, eat foods rich in the B vitamins because they have calming effects and can deliver nourishment for a healthy nervous system.

Under the B vitamin group of nutrients, Vitamin B12, Thiamin, and Niacin have direct bearing to keep your nervous system from being susceptible to panic attacks. In more ways than one, these nutrients can make you more prepared in warding off or in handling nervous disorders.

Keeping in mind a balanced diet based on the Food Pyramid Guide while putting more emphasis on the B vitamin complex, the following can serve as an ideal food group on your diet:

1. Consume twenty percent of meat, poultry, seafood (salmon, swordfish, tuna, clams, crab, mussels, and oyster), and products made from soybeans like tofu, eggs, and cheese.
2. Consume thirty to thirty-five percent of baked potato, broccoli, asparagus, peanuts, legumes, watermelon, and oranges.
3. Consume forty to forty-five percent of brown rice, whole grain cereal, pasta, wheat germ, oatmeal, and bread.

While the above food groups which are rich in B vitamins can reduce panic attacks by maintaining a well-balanced nutrition regimen, there are three consumables that may aggravate anxiety disorders.

Alcohol is one of these substances. It raises hyperactivity in the nervous system and raises alertness. Being alert is not bad. However, alertness in the stressful level is like overacting in a stage play. Instead of doing good, it becomes annoying and may make you irritable. If alcohol cannot totally be avoided, the least you can do is to cut down your intake gradually until it reaches level zero. Some people tend to have secondary triggers of anxiety when withdrawal from a substance is abrupt.

Caffeine triggers panic attacks because it is a stimulant. Just like alcohol, withdrawal from caffeine might spur a secondary anxiety in the form of shaky, irritated, and exhausted feelings. For coffee drinkers, try the decaffeinated variety. Gradually reduce the strength and cut the frequency in which you consume coffee and other caffeine-rich drinks like cola, tea, and chocolate.

The third substance to avoid is sugar. Sugar hardly contains any nutrients and is packed with calories. Just how is sugar related to panic attacks? Sugar makes a person hyperactive, thereby bringing emotional disturbances that may ultimately lead to panic attacks. Sugar also causes mood swings. Sugar combined with starches from the foods you eat leads to fermentation and breaks down to alcohol. As mentioned earlier, alcohol raises stress levels that can lead to panic attacks.

All in all, maintaining a healthy eating habit is one of the prerequisites that contribute to a life free from panic attacks. Try your best to maintain a balanced diet even when you’re busy. Health should be your foremost priority.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Panic Attack? Bring It On!

Heightened anxiety, or better know as panic attack, is a normal occurrence. Normal in the sense that it is accepted as a part of our daily activities.

Anxiety is not that bad though. It keeps us primed, as if it trains us to be always on our toes. It also keeps us psychologically alert. These exercises can be good but to a certain extent or limit only. Beyond the limit, things may start to get nasty.

When we are engulfed with a bout of panic attack, we have one of two choices. We can either face it or get away from it. This is better known as the fight/flight response. Given a choice, would you face panic attack and experience its full impact, or would you rather retreat or run away from it?

If we equate panic to fear (the two are similar in a lot of ways), the easy way out is to avoid it. But there is always a great chance (and you can be sure of it) that it will haunt you again and again. Whatever that fear