The Right Time to Assume Leadership

In everything you have to do - every decision you have to make or every action you have to take - it is always better to think twice before actually doing it. Sometimes, it becomes too late to know that what you did is not really the most perfect thing to do. And when this happens, there can be no turning back.

Assuming leadership, among all other tasks one can perform, is the least exempted from the above life’s philosophy. Yes, you may have the qualities, characteristics, and skills of a great leader. You may believe that you can lead a group of people towards a common goal. But do you think you are the right person to carry out such huge responsibility in that certain time?

Effective leadership is more than being able to command your people into doing certain tasks. Rather, it is about increasing both your personal and organizational success by guiding, teaching, and directing your followers for the team’s benefit and their own, and eventually drawing out the leadership qualities in them.

Hence, before assuming leadership - accepting big responsibilities and influencing other people - one may have to consider a lot of things. Try answering the following questions:

- Am I physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, and spiritually prepared to accept leadership?
- Do I have a vision that will guide my team and me into bringing success?
- Do I possess strong character that I can use in facing and dealing with different problems that I might encounter along the way?
- Am I capable of influencing other people to do things for the team’s success?
- Am I ready to face competitions, accept criticisms, admit mistakes, or even accept defeat and failure?
- Will I be able to contribute immense benefits to the team other than drawing it towards success?
- Will I be able to produce other leaders among the team who can help me lighten the load?

If you answered “NO” to one or more of the above questions, then you have to reevaluate your priorities in life. Do not worry, though. You have a lot of time to think over, prepare, and learn more. Remember, a true leader do not just give up. He keeps on understanding what his weaknesses are, and tries to overcome them to become better and stronger for his team’s sake.

On the other hand, congratulations to you if you answered “YES” to all of the questions. A great leader is all that and more. Now, you knew it’s the right time to assume leadership.

Mind Control over Body

What your body can do depends on what your mind can conceive. It’s all like a camera. Whatever the lens captures, the film prints. Don’t expect a photo of something that was not captured by the lens.

The body can only come up with a potential that the mind can imagine. The mind is designed as a command center, and the body serves as production department. When the mind is strong, the body will obey. When the mind is creative, the body will create accordingly.

When the reverse happens, inability sets in. When the mind is weak and overwhelmed, the body takes over and commands the mind. Thus, at the slightest hint of difficulty and pain, the body will give up and tell the mind it can do no more.

The mind can do nothing except agree with the spoiled body, and quit. When the body doesn’t feel like doing anything—like, when you feel lazy and any excuse will do for not getting out of bed—and the mind is too weak to oppose that, you have a case of a body being atop the head. And from that abnormal scenario will flow an equally abnormal life. All issues in life will spread from that, and you will have a total wreck in your hands.

The head ought to be always on top of the body, and this means the body ought to obey the mind always. Many may ask, “What if the mind is also a wreck and commands the body to stay dormant?” This scenario is often mistaken as a lazy mind commanding the body into idleness. Many experts say a healthy mind actually always opts for a positive course of action, never inaction. When the mind seems to work otherwise, it is proof of a subverted mind controlled by a spoiled, pampered body. It thinks negatively and unproductively precisely because the body has taught and controlled it to be thus.

The mind can be strengthened by training it to make decisions the body will obey. If you adopt a life principle, make sure everything you do is based on it. The mind decides what is right and the body is given practical things to do in relation to it.

Once the mind decides something the body is unwilling to do, a tug-of-war starts. It is in such conflict that the body must be disciplined to succumb to the mind. If this is accomplished, the mind is strengthened and given authority over the body, which is trained to respond positively to such authority. The person becomes “highly principled.” As this goes on, the mind is promoted to heights never before imagined, and dares (and is encouraged) to go beyond limits, tugging the body along the way. The body does what it is told to do. So the body begins to outdo itself as the mind imagines it to be doing so.

When the head is put in its rightful place of authority over the body, limitless potentials break out of their hiding and release the ace champion in a person.

Add Power to Your Sport Using the Hips

Did you know that 90 per cent of all body movements and efforts originate, not from arm or shoulder muscles, but from the hips down?

This is the secret of ancient masters who were able to perform athletic feats even in old age. People noted that veteran players who have mastered their sport performed gracefully and with apparent ease, though mostly average in body size. This is especially observed among martial arts experts in the East who bested opponents often bigger and taller than they were.

It will help even non-athletic people in their daily chores to know that so much physical effort and muscle strain could be avoided if they only realize that true physical power starts from the hips down. Activities like pushing, pulling, lifting, walking, and running can all be made easier if we use our hips correctly—and even avoid body aches that often accompany wrong body maneuvers.

Swinging a baseball bat or golf club, pitching a ball, spiking a volley ball, shooting a basketball, delivering a hook or throwing a jab in boxing, doing a dead lift—all these depend on the use of the hip.

Without the correct use of the hip, the move becomes powerless and often awkward. Besides, it may end up straining your back or tearing a muscle.

A body motion, especially one made to exert excessive effort, should be timed to cause a smooth body flow and coordination. That’s why we often count 1 to 3 before we give a heavy task all we have. This timing need not always be consciously numbered; it often goes on automatically in us when we set out to do a skill.

Now here’s the secret: The timing and the smooth body flow should always coincide with a good sway of the hip. The force applied must always be supplemented with a hip sway. Without this, the timing and smooth flow will all be outward show, lack any real power, and may even cause injury.

But with a good mix of timing, flow, and enough hip movement, the performance becomes dynamite! Hence, masters often say you should put yourself into the punch, or go with the force.

But make sure the hip sway is just enough to send a bolt of power, and not throw you off balance. A power “surge” (or a full sway of the hips) can also help at times, but be sure that it does not compromise your stance and balance.

Try throwing a ball with a stiff body posture, with only an arm moving to throw the ball. Then, try throwing it again with your arm swinging as your hip sways (in the same direction) and your legs giving way to your hip sways. You’d see the obvious difference. Power is mostly in the hip.

The next time you grab, lift, or do anything, remember that the hip bridges the body to the legs. Without the hip, neither body nor legs are hooked up to real power.

The Science of Sports Success

Athletes work out hard to be the best. They should. If amazing, record-breaking feats are what they aim for, they will have to do more than workout hard; they need to be wiser. And to be wiser means to know more secrets.

Power in sports is more than muscle power. It is basically knowing how to move correctly so you won’t waste efforts doing useless motions. Knowing the mechanics involved helps you economize on body movements to conserve energy.

Knowledge of human kinetics (science of body motions) will also help you identify the muscle and bone groups involved in a body movement so you will know where to add attention to your workouts. A general workout (involving the whole body) can do you good, but specific workouts (a specialized workout program for a particular skill) can hone a skill to perfection. This is where human kinetics comes in.

In a general workout, an athlete may well be training hard daily, building up strong and bulky muscles—looking super fit—and yet unable to do well in his game, especially in a competition. It’s like a shotgun training where you aim and pull the trigger, hoping to land some shrapnel on the target. And for all you know, you may be firing lots of shells around and yet have the target virtually unscratched. There is no point being a hulk of a loser in tip-top shape.

Champions are brains and skills, first of all; and then muscle power, second. You cannot ignore one in favor of the other. Brains and skills mean that you know the sport well, and also the body mechanics involved. Your hectic training must be based on these. You focus your effort, time, and resources only on what’s essential, aside from the general workouts you need. Thus, you add to your potential of being a champion.

Many athletes today give the impression that sports is all about packing whatever bulky muscle you can build into your body to make it fit like a horse. With the advent of modern fitness gadgets and much improved weights devices, the trend is towards stressing muscle power—especially when hyped by the media. But muscle training per se does not equate to being a champion. When your acumen and skills measure up to the challenge at hand, you win. And this means you have to train accurately according to what the sport requires. This spells out nothing but athletic kinetics.

Tips To Keep Memory In Tiptop Condition

Keeping the memory in good condition is a vital part of the brain’s function. Every now and then, our actions greatly depend on a lot of information we retrieve from our memory bank. Such information can either be short term (such as specific tasks that we have to do) or long term (such as the ability to drive a car or repeat an instruction we read from a book). While long-term memory may come spontaneously without too much effort when the need arises, short-term memory requires recalling information from the accumulation of things stored in our memory. This is why you need to keep your memory in great shape to achieve efficiency in your daily endeavors:

• Keep your attention focused on the needed information to be stored in your memory bank. Even with distractions around you, stay focused on the subject. The more concentrated you are on the information, the better the chances of retaining it in your memory.

• Utilize the most ideal sense or senses when gathering the information. This what we call acuity in sensing our environment. Be aware of the color or details of a picture, or the particular sound or smell of the thing involved. All our bodily senses are attuned to collect information depending on the circumstance at hand. While our sense of vision may be the most used in gathering information, our senses of hearing, smell, taste, and touch are equally important and helpful in remembering things, situations, and information about something or someone.

• When you’re not sure that the information you are about to remember would really be retained by your brain, it would be better to write the information. This could be proven effective especially in gathering very long and tedious information like lecture notes or a personal interview. Just be sure you don’t forget that you have a note at hand; and of course, don’t misplace the note.

• Maintain a balance diet. A well-proportioned diet will result to a conditioned memory. Oily and sweet foods may cloud the memory. If you cannot completely eliminate a bad diet, gradually cut down your intake of these memory-inhibiting foods. Doing it gradually cushions the effect of withdrawal symptoms and you’ll get adjusted to the new lifestyle you are creating. This is not only beneficial to the memory, but we can say you’re on your way to a healthy life. Drinking lots of water brings lots of advantages to your overall health, and memory is not an exception.

• Don’t deprive yourself with enough rest and sleep. Having enough sleep does not condone laziness; oversleeping does. So don’t feel guilty resting or sleeping as long as it is not overdone. You need it badly to keep you revitalized from the tiresome demand of work.

• Take time to relax. Breathe deeply if you must. Keep your thoughts organized before acting on them. Keep away from stress and anxiety. It may be impossible to completely eliminate stress since it is part of our challenging generation, but try to keep it down as much as possible. Stress may bring your memory into its inefficient level. Avoid the habit of saying to yourself that you might forget things, because you’re more likely to if you do. This just builds your anxiety level up to its panic mode.

• Stay positive, creative, and energetic. Your memory needs to be within a circle of various things. Things that come in various shapes, sizes, and colors can motivate your creativity. This is a positive way of discovering your surroundings in all its variations and diversities. Avoid being enclosed within the four walls of your room just like you’re a prisoner. The only time to be enclosed is when you have to rest or sleep. Don’t be a couch potato. There’s a very exciting world out there waiting to improve your memory.

The very best way to improve your memory is between infancy and adolescent. As we grow old, memory starts to fail. But a strong memory that we can develop during the prime years of our lives will definitely enhance us to be good thinkers. This can be done by continuously exercising our memory through reading and other cognitive activities like the habit of solving crossword puzzles. The more you do these, the better memory retention is developed.

As far as health is concerned, high blood pressure can lead to stroke and heart ailments. It also results to poor memory retention. Memory function declines when blood pressure is high. Researchers have observed that people with normal blood pressure, especially at midlife, have a higher cognitive function. Concentration, decision-making, and remembering functions falter as a result of high blood pressure. What is healthy for the body is likewise healthy for the memory.

Learn To Live Life The Fun Way

Happy and sad moment alternate in our lives and the problem arises when we realize we have no or very little control over them. A 100% happy life is utopist, but there are ways to train yourself to react better to problems and difficulties. Let’s have a look at some of the most frequently used methods of cheering yourself up, no matter how big the problems might seem.

Try to surround yourself with cute things, like children or animals. You will be instantly “contaminated” with their joy and innocence and, at least temporarily, a huge weight will be lifted from your shoulders. Children are also great teachers, even though they don’t realize it. Take their example, for a moment, and enjoy every single thing life has to offer you, like kicking a ball, throwing stones in the water or savoring a candy bar.

It never hurts to offer yourself a reward every now and then. After a long day struggling with problems your mind and body need some time off. Do one of your favorite things: watch TV all evening without moving a muscle, take a long hot bath, play a computer game or go out and dance. Fun moments will remind you of how life should be and this will motivate you even more to do your best and solve all problems as fast as possible, so that you can go back to fully enjoying life.

Gather some courage and face whatever is worrying you. The worst idea is to lock yourself in and to start feeling sorry for yourself. Thinking about a problem for hours and hours will do you very little good. It’s time to take action and, even though it is hard, to take the first steps toward solving the difficulties. If you have a health problem, for example, and you are afraid to go to the doctor just wake up one morning and do it. Don’t think about it, don’t analyze, just go. Once you get to the doctor your mind will probably come up with a dozen good excuses to get you out of there – try to resist it. The sooner you solve your problems the less chances there are of letting them grow out of control.

Immerse yourself in a creative activity, such as painting or practicing a new sport. This will keep your mind away from worrying and you will win some well-deserved relaxation. Seeing your friends is also a good method of eliminating stress and worries. You can try to combine the two and get involved, together with some friends, in a new and exciting activity. Physical activities work like a charm as they also grab the full attention of your mind. A tennis or soccer match won’t give you enough time to start having negative thoughts, as you will be focused on the action. Activities that involve your mind – such as chess, for example – are also effective, as long as they are fun and the competition factor is low.

By following the general guidelines presented above you will reduce stress factors and allow your mind and body to recharge their energy and respond better to any distressful influences.

A safe place for your mind

Emotions tend to dominate our actions and reactions, even though we like to claim otherwise. Society often sees emotions as a sign of weakness, so we got used to putting them aside and try to focus on the rational aspects more and more. But no matter how strict and logical you want to be, you will always be a human being, not a robot, and so you will always feel.

Positive emotions are a life long goal for many of us. What is more important, in the end: how much money you made during your life or how many times you laughed? However, people tend to put their positive emotions in the dark shadow of their negative feelings. This is one of the biggest problems we come across during our lives. There is no obvious way to ignore a negative experience and try to replace it with positive ones. It just doesn’t work that way.

As a child, if your goldfish dies, you would be extremely sad. Your parents will certainly buy you another goldfish, but the sorrow still takes a long time to go away. Things get even more serious with adults. A fight with your spouse the night before will affect your entire day. You will go to work angry, tired, with your mind wandering. Then you will go home with an even worse mood. On the way from work towards home you won’t be able to notice the sun shining and you won’t be tempted to stop at the supermarket and buy your favorite ice cream. All these because that one negative thought is contaminating the way you perceive the reality around you.

In this moment you will feel that finding a safe place to relax your mind would do wonders. And that place is relatively easy to find. It can be an actual location or an imaginary place. The best idea is to totally emerge yourself in it. Let’s say you have a problem on your mind and it just won’t go away. Go bowling! You don’t know how to bowl, you say? No problem, go out and try it! Get caught up in the game, think about those funny shoes, choose a favorite ball, invent new strategies to throw and so on. Your mind will suddenly jump from the negative thoughts that dominated your last hours or days and start processing a whole new kind of information.

A safe place can get many forms. It can be a song, a movie, even a person. The main thing is to allow yourself to get completely involved with this new activity. You might still get flashes of the problem every now and then – ignore them and get even more involved in what you are doing.

When the bowling game, the song, the movie or the conversation ends you will have a rather abrupt return to your problems. You will probably feel sad and want to go back to the safe place. Don’t do that. The safe place exists only as a helping hand, not as a solution to your problems. It is there to help you relax your mind, for a few minutes or hours. This is a vital stage in your solution to what is bothering you. You will return from your safe place with an increased energy level. You will feel better about yourself and gain more confidence that any issue can be resolved. This is how a small escape from a harsh reality can increase your fighting energy and allow you to solve even the most difficult problems.

Mother’s Advice for Optimal Memory

Remember when you were still young and mother would tell you to eat your vegetables, go to bed early, and do all those sort of stuffs which you dislike? It turns out that your mom (although she might be unaware of it) is giving you some ideal advice for a sharper memory. Let us recall some of them.

Mother used to say fruits and vegetables are good for you. Undeniably, they are. Studies reveal that blueberries in particular, aid to improve memory aside from giving health benefits to the body. Another berry, which is strawberry, is also good in memory retention. On the vegetable side, spinach and broccoli are foods for the brain. These fruits and vegetables contain antioxidants that protect the body and brain against stress.

I bet you’ve heard of the same old “early to bed, early to rise makes a person happy, healthy, and wise.” What mom used to impress on you is indeed a good advice, particularly the portion about “wise.” When you’re asleep, the brain sorts information obtained during the day so that this information is stored for future use.

Quit smoking and cut down on caffeine. Researchers found that consuming a pack or more cigarettes a day can result to impaired visual and verbal memory, and this will further result to the brain’s poor ability to process information. As for caffeine (coffee and colas), it will make you feel agitated and irritated. This is contrary to a brain that performs at its best when relaxed.

Fish is food for the brain. Fish contains the polyunsaturated fatty acid DHA, which is the main contributor to efficient development of the nervous system and the brain. That is why some milk products for young children are supplemented with DHA. One of the best sources of DHA is cod liver oil. Oh, how you hated it when you were still kids, but actually it’s good for you. Aside from fish, other products that are memory enhancers due to the presence of choline are soybeans, eggs, and liver. Still another substance that is present in fish like salmon, herring, mackerel, and sardines is the amazing omega-3 fatty acid. It promotes good mood, aside from being a good memory developer. It also increases the learning capability because it enhances the capacity, speed, and efficiency of the brain. Researchers are still checking the benefits that omega-3 can give to patients with alzheimer’s disease and stress related disorders. If you can’t get enough of these fish products, taking supplements (about 600 mg) will suffice.

“Did you take your vitamins?” mom used to tell you this every morning. That’s because they are good for you, especially vitamins C, B12, and beta-carotene. Not only are they good antioxidants, they are good memory enhancers as well.

Get off that sofa. Get out and get some exercise. Seems like a complete drag but exercise, like it or not, is good in sharpening memory. It’s like jogging your mind to wake it up. Studies reveal that strenuous physical exercise gets the brain cells up and running, thus improving memory and creativity. Just half an hour of jogging can deliver astounding results to your body and mind.

Remember that you’re always better off with a sharp memory.

How to Stop the Sleep Robbers

You think you’re getting enough sleep? Think again, because you’re most likely not. A lot of studies confirmed that most adults have been depriving themselves (oftentimes unnoticed) of the amounts of sleep needed.

You may think that: “Half an hour short of sleep won’t hurt me.” Sorry, but it does, especially if this becomes habitual. Each half or even only a quarter of an hour lack of sleep each night accumulates in time. You may think that the lack of sleep the night before is compensated the next night you get enough sleep. Actually, it doesn’t.

What you owe the night before remains in the IOU list which piles up each time you lack sleep.

Just how much sleep is enough? Although it varies depending on the person, it is ideal to consider between seven to eight hours of sleep as enough for the normal person. Younger people need more sleep than older ones.

Sleep is vital to overall health and individual functionality, which is why you have to win back your sleeping time if you lack it. Here are possible sleep robbers (or habits) that you can kick out to regain your sleeping time.

The habit of sleeping late usually starts in a subtle way. You hardly notice you’re doing it at first, until it becomes a habit. Identify the cause. If you can’t pinpoint the exact reasons why you sleep late at night, then chances are, they are small things or chores that are scattered. Those little time-consuming things you spend on could be trimmed and if you review them, the minutes (when accumulated) can turn to an hour or two which you could devote instead to sleeping.

You may not be able to correct this abruptly; actually it would be better to adjust gradually. Once you are able to find the time to retire earlier than usual, it may be difficult to fall asleep at once because of the change in pattern. Don’t worry, this is normal and only in the first few nights. Once you have adjusted to your new habit, you will eventually find it easier to fall asleep early.

Stop your dependency on sleeping aids like alcohol or sleep inducing pills. These aids may knock you out of your senses faster but they can cause frequent wakeful periods thus interrupting your sleep pattern.

If a concern keeps bothering you from getting asleep, try this method. Get a pen (a marker would be better) and a piece of paper (big enough to fill in you concern) and write your concerns on it. Lay it on your side table or tape it on the wall. You don’t go to sleep with your robe on, so it’s like taking your robe off before retiring. In the morning, discard the paper. Sounds trivial but for some, it works.

A phone (landline or mobile) on the bedside can be very handy particularly in an emergency. But it can also be downright annoying, especially when it is set to ring aloud. Take that phone away from your ear. If you need to keep it, set it on silent mode. Depending on your line of business or profession, that phone may or may be not be that important for night calls. Should its presence fall short of its importance, you’re better off without it during the night. That once in a lifetime call which you classify as an emergency may not be worth all the nights you are awakened by a wrong number or a nuisance call. The possibility that someone might call in the middle of the night when you’re asleep results to an agitated feeling that alters your sleep pattern, keeping you half asleep subconsciously.

Your brain monitors and maintains a record of all the hours you owe it in terms of shortage in sleep. One way or the other, you’ll have to pay for it. You should be thankful it doesn’t charge interest or penalties for late payments. Try your best to pull yourself out of sleep deficits.

How to Keep Your Audience in Attention

In almost all gatherings (conventions, alumni homecomings, commencement exercises, fund raising or awarding ceremonies), guest speakers are usually invited to highlight the occasion.

To make the gathering memorable, guest speakers are selected for a certain reason, some according to their popularity and accomplishments. As much as possible, the speaker’s profession or line of achievement must be in some way related to the occasion.

Let’s say the occasion is a convention of home developers. The likely guest speaker to grace it could be a famous housing czar well known and respected by the city and state.

To impart a lasting impression to the audience, a speaker must find ways to keep the attention glued to his speech.

If it so happens that you are the invited guest speaker of a gathering, the suggestions below may help to keep your audience listening instead of walking around or doing something else.

1. Speak in a clear, crisp, comprehensible voice with an enthusiastic tone. Avoid mumbling. Try not to eat the words as if there’s a gum in your mouth.

2. Your speech should be in consonance with the aim of the gathering, touching on issues relevant to its objective and applicable to current needs for the benefit of the majority.

3. More speakers prepare a list of the issues they want to touch on instead of a speech prepared and read (or memorized) word for word. A spontaneous speech aligned on the ideas prepared or written on the list is projected more naturally.

4. Inject humor into your speech to keep the audience attentive and waiting for more. Studies reveal that, when humor is involved, audiences find the speaker interesting to listen to. But be aware not to go beyond the line of humor because this may unintentionally embarrass others or be misunderstood by them. This might raise comments that criticize your speech. Try your best to avoid criticism.

5. When you raise an issue, one of the best ways to project it is by citing instances or examples. Correlate the example and the issue clearly.

6. Suppose the gathering was organized to save an industry or boost the morale of those that will be directly and indirectly affected by it. Try your best to deliver an inspiring speech. A speech filled with positive thoughts, like projecting a bright tomorrow, can turn a depressive mood into an enthusiastic one. If you are well versed on the industry with a solution to offer to suppress its downtrend, then say it.

7. Audience participation may seem to turn your speech into a discussion, but it is one way to confirm effectiveness of what you are saying or offering.

8. Image how the industry will look like 5 or 10 years from now on a positive flight. Be specific and realistic in your projection. If hard work is called for, say so.

9. Leave a lasting, meaningful message as you wrap up your speech.

A speech that leaves the audience thinking long after the speech has been made will also leave the audience remembering the speaker for a long time.

How to Deal with People to Get What You Want

People communicate with each other in various ways for a lot of reasons. And one of these reasons is when you need something from someone. For people in business, this can either be in the form of products or services. You may want to sell a product while the other party must find your product useful for his intention. You may want to offer your services while the other party must be satisfied with the services you render according to his needs. In short, the way to get somebody or anybody to do what you want is to make them want to do it.

To get something you want through intimidation or violence is to invite trouble. Yes, it’s possible but not advisable to use forceful methods because the results are undesirable and at times disastrous. Imagine if you force an employee to take a leave of absence for having apparently violated a company rule. The relationship between management and the employee, or perhaps between management and union (if the employee is a member of it), is likely to be severed.

To get what you want, give people what they want. Just what do people want? Physical health, family ties, financial security, spiritual growth, peace of mind, a successful career, and fame are the basic needs of people. There is one important yet intangible thing everybody wants and that is appreciation. Being appreciated and complimented makes a person feel important. When you feel important, you feel needed and wanted, and this gives you a whole lot of reason for existence.

Just how do you give somebody the feeling of importance? Say it, act it; just give it freely, honestly, and wholeheartedly. As literal as it is, saying how appreciative you are for a favor received, makes the other person feel important. You may not be able to describe exactly in words the feeling of importance when you’re in the shoes of the recipient. But definitely, what you can not describe is real and priceless.

Pre-empt importance. Give some sort of sign to the other person that what you want from him, will make him feel important. Let’s take charity for example. A recipient wants or needs contributions from the giver. It can either be material or service contribution, or both. Even before the act itself, the giver somehow expects appreciation from the recipient and this will give him a boost of importance. Appreciation may not necessarily be in words. A smile and/or a pat would suffice and they can come from both giver and recipient. The giver shows his feeling of being appreciated. The recipient shows his feeling of appreciation for the gift. Somehow magic or chemistry takes place. It’s a feeling both parties would enjoy happening many times over.

Are you aware that the feeling of importance, brought about by compliments and appreciation, is good for your health, mentally and physically? Whether you are the giver or recipient, it is good for both. There are medical findings that substantiate health effects brought about by positive emotions like compliments and appreciation. Frequent doses of the feeling of importance activate the brain cells and various harmonies in the body that promote good health. To put it plainly, the feeling of importance is the antioxidant of life.

Can you think of a better way to nourish other people’s feelings than to show your concern and appreciation? Well, you can show something better than appreciation, and that is - a truckload of appreciation.

You know what you and I and everybody else should be doing right now? We should go out there and show our feeling of appreciation to everything and everybody. Let’s go!

The Power of the Spoken Word

The pen is mightier than the sword, says an adage. But most people do not know that when written words become spoken words, they explode like firecrackers! If books speak volumes, speeches fire up entire lives.

There are three kinds of words: the written, the meditated, and the spoken.

Written words inform and give full spectrum of probabilities about a topic or event. Meditated words have the potential to bring out explosive ideas. But when both the written and meditated words are verbalized, the result is tremendous, to say the least. Spoken words are fired from the barrel of a gun (the mouth), through a triggering mechanism (our tongue). When used effectively, words are like bullets that hit targets accurately and leave an indelible mark.

Speaking is a very unique technique of conveying messages. It involves body and soul. It can create a visual drama with live emotions and gestures that put life into the message like no written or meditated messages can achieve. In speaking, you really become the message rather than the words you speak. Thus, entire multitudes can go berserk in public with a moving speech.

It pays to learn how to speak with fire or have a flowery tongue. The power of the spoken word is insurmountable. Entire nations have been either united or divided by one dominant leader who spoke winningly of a cause. Abe Lincoln spoke and persuaded divided Americans to unite, and this was before modern sound systems and media were used.

Vladimir Lenin, on the other hand, spoke with fire to sway Russian peasants and workers to bolt away from Czar Rule, and even called on the Proletariat or working class of other nations to a similar action.

You can also wield this powerful tool of speaking very credibly to an individual or crowd by just learning and practicing the chief points of public speaking. You may be amazed that steps to potent public speaking skills are very simple and easy, yet practicing them is crucial. Delivering the spoken word with power is a science and an art that requires diligence.

Power is gained through mastery. Powerful leaders since ancient civilizations have mastered the ways of the spoken word handed down to them by their forerunners. And if you desire to attain the power of the spoken word, you have to persistently practice your skills in public speaking.

Why Argue? You Can’t Win Anyway

Ever noticed the outcome of an argument between two people or groups with contradicting views? Was there really a winner?

If you’re on the winning side, you feel superior, and important. All these feelings suggest a positive outcome for you. It’s as if you’re working down on a guy while he looks up at you. He has this words to mumble “I’m going to get you next time; you wait and see.”

Yes, there’s this shallow threat to win over you once he gets a rematch. Definitely, a rivalry and a disharmonious relationship will ensue. If the argument happens in front of other people, the repercussions are far worst than can be imagined. To most people, being contradicted and won over in front of other people is a big issue. For obvious reasons, no person in his right sense can tolerate being contradicted. It is an embarrassment.

A person forced to submit against his will stays firm in his belief. So what’s the best advice to a situation that seems to lead to an impending argument?

Welcome an opinion even though it is the opposite of your own. When two people go into a partnership, let’s say in business, it is normal that disagreements arise. Actually, it is healthy for business.

Disagreements don’t mean that the partnership will go sour. It’s the exchange of ideas that gives businesses more competitive edges and improvements. Use disagreements to your advantage. This is especially true to married couples. Husbands and wives may disagree but they ultimately find a common ground to make their relationship stronger. It’s like exploring each other, getting to know your partner better.

If you are the temperamental type, learn to control it. Make every effort to gradually reduce the intensity until you see substantial improvement. Temper that is out of control is fueled by anger like a forest wildfire. This is entirely different from controlled temper that is like the fire in the fireplace giving warmth at wintertime.

One of the most important character you can develop to avoid arguments is to be a good listener. Give your ear a chance to listen first before you let words come out of your mouth. And when you do have a word or two to say, try your best to align them in a non-argumentative direction. Be tactful. Dwell on areas where you think you and the other party will agree. Be sincere. If you commit a mistake, acknowledge and apologize accordingly. Apologizing for mistakes does not make you a lesser person in terms of importance. On the contrary, people feel humbled when apologized to. Apologies bring out the gentle person in you.

Give the other party the benefit of the doubt in his opinion especially when you doubt your own opinion as well. Tell the other party you will think over his ideas. This is better than being told later “ I told you so but you wouldn’t listen.” This will also give you and him the chance to evaluate the problem or issue.

When someone takes the time and the effort to engage in a debate or argument with you, it only shows that he is also interested in the same things as you do. That alone is sufficient reason for you to thank him.

Arguments are raised not to be a source of losing one’s face. Arguments are raised so that we may learn a lesson or two and get better in terms of acquiring added knowledge.

Getting to Know the Art of Non-Verbal Communication

Basically, communication is conveyed in verbal form. The conveyor talks or writes while the recipient listens to or reads the message. However, there is another form of communication based on gestures or body movements. This art of non-verbal communication is better known as body language.

Although spoken communication is a direct way to convey a message, it can be masked. In body language, the message can be conveyed in a truer sense or form. However, this depends on the interpretation of the recipient of the message.

With this in mind, it is important to familiarize yourself with this art of non-verbal communication. How a message is interpreted, correctly or wrongly, may have drastic, dramatic implications.

Given the chance to come face to face to communicate with each other, you may be able to realize and verify the truthfulness of the message being conveyed.

Let’s pick a simple scenario to illustrate non-verbal communication. Let us say a former officemate of yours called you to propose a business partnership. This officemate is just one of your casual acquaintances. He’s not exactly a confidant whom you would treat as a close buddy. He asked that the two of you meet somewhere and you obliged. So you wind up meeting him in a coffee shop. After the usual handshake (this is one type of body language), both of you took a seat and ordered coffee. After a few exchanges of pleasantries and recalling past incidences while you were still officemates, you touched on the subject of his business proposal. While in the process of presenting the proposed business, you occasionally interrupted him with questions that he readily answered. Subconsciously, while you continued to listen to his proposal, you kept touching your nose with your index finger, rubbing it once in a while as if covering the nose with your hand.

After the proposal has been made, he asked for your comment if his proposal merits your acceptance. He’s not asking for an immediate answer or decision if you’re interested or not, giving you enough time to study it. However, your first impression of the proposal was somewhat inclined on rejecting it. Your main reason was that you are not familiar with the line of business he’s proposing, and to go into unfamiliar business simply does not interest you.

But in spite of your negative perception of the proposal, you didn’t want to disappoint your former officemate, at least not at that moment. Before you gave the final word that you would seriously study the proposal, you made some initial comments about it to the tune that it may seem to merit your approval although it really didn’t. While you were making your comment, subconsciously and again, you touched your nose with one hand while talking.

It’s observed that during the entirety of your discussion, you frequently made one move, touching your nose. Are you aware that touching your nose is a gesture that means you’re not saying what you really felt or meant? Studies suggest that saying something while touching the nose is not reflective of what’s being said. In this case, rubbing the nose is tantamount to disapproval of the proposal presented to you.

Although there is no definite basis that this gesture is a sign of disapproval or disagreement or rejection, it has a high rate of probability. Only you know your real intention.

You may see this same gesture from other people if you were in the shoes of your officemate. But keep in mind that there may be other reasons. An itchy nose, a sinus that keeps bothering the listener, mannerism, halitosis on either the part of the conversationalist or the listener or both - anyone of these could be the real reason.

Keep in mind that interpretation of body language has a high probability rate but it may not necessarily be definite.

Start a Crusade to Help Difficult People

Countless sad songs have been dedicated to lonely people who can’t seem to cope up with the world. A hit song in the seventies lamented that “sometimes it feels like you and me against the world.” For all we know, it might be that most of us think the whole world is against us in some way or another.

Difficult people are among the lonely. In their inability to cope with their surroundings, they are often avoided by other people.

But in their need for acceptance, they force themselves to be acknowledged by others. The conflicts that result make them difficult people to be with. And as more people end up being difficult, the number of lonely people in the world swells to multi-millions.

This is a most overlooked dire need that persists through the ages - it is deemed that many lives are destroyed more by this malady than by wars, famines, and plagues.

Anyway, we can start a crusade to help difficult people overcome their attitude by paying sufficient attention to them rather than by becoming curious on their personality alone. Helping a difficult person overcome his attitude means one less lonely person in the world. Think of what can happen if each of us “adopts” a difficult person. That will spell lots of relief to the rest of the world!

It is easy to conquer difficult people. You only have to make sure that you are not difficult yourself. It is quite hard to check yourself for difficult attitudes if you do not know what to look for. A checklist from experts who really conquer difficult people, or from those who have overcome being difficult, will help tremendously. The checklist may look something like this:

1. Do you like meeting and being with people?
2. Can you accept them as they are?
3. Do you easily forgive offenses?
4. Are you easily hurt by what people do or say?
5. How do you take life or work pressures?
6. Have you been abused?
7. Are you a loving person, and do you express love too?

Once you are sure that you are not a difficult person, you can start your crusade. You can help difficult people by:

1. Listening sincerely.
2. Being agreeable.
3. Being quiet most times.
4. Smiling.
5. Becoming an indispensable friend.
6. Correcting then without being obvious.
7. Teaching them to love through your love for them.

Help a difficult person and you make this world a better place to live in. Help some more and you are well on your way to building a paradise.

Burnout Busters

“That’s it! I’ve had enough!” You may subconsciously utter these words when life’s stressful challenges reach the peak of emotional exhaustion.

Formerly the word “burn out” is used to describe busted electric bulbs. Somehow, the word burnout came to origin and is now also used to describe emotional drain in humans. For light bulbs, it is irreversible. Luckily for humans, this is only temporary; self-help remedies are readily available to get us out of this predicament.

Apply these tips:

1. Take time outs to savor the fresh scent of nature, especially flowers. The sight and the fragrance that flowers bring can be great relief to a tired, irritated, or dragged feeling. If you love nature, nothing is more invigorating than flowers and plants. They represent nature in its true essence.

2. Examine if your burnout is a result of doing something you don’t like to do, yet you have to face it just the same. In such case, picture in your mind an image that you like to do and substitute this image to the thing you don’t like to do. Somehow, this strategy of imagery helps to lessen the tiring weight of the thing you despise to act upon. In the process, your task gets done with less resistance on your part and it would even probably reach the point that you would enjoy doing it. Before you even know it, the job is already done and probably with favorable results.

3. Gather physical energy. Ginseng is an energy food. Most health food stores sell it. You can either take it as a tea drink or mix it in your cooking for a wholesome meal. Ginseng comes in a variety of strengths. The more potent it is, the better your physical (and mental) performance will be. If you’re not very familiar with it, just ask your health food store representative and they will gladly help you out.

4. Take time out to regain your composure. A burnout can be equated to an individual who could use a time out from the hustles of life. This is similar to a coach of a basketball team asking for a time out to come up with a winning game plan when his team is not playing at its peak. Take advantage of this time out to meditate and relax those frenzied nerves.

5. Take time out to empty your mind. Pick up and round up useful memories and discard those damaging emotions and negative thoughts.

6. Discover a newfound freedom, free from emotional drain. Go on a picnic with the family, a camping trip out in the woods, or a weekend excursion to a totally different environment.

7. Listen to relaxing music. It lifts us emotionally. You may want to choose specific sounds that can relieve a person from burnout like soft Classical melodies.

8. Indulge. It’s quite common to hear from somebody: “I just want to get home and soak myself in a bathtub.” Quite true, this can help overcome burnout. Better yet, go to a spa where you can get a treatment package from massage to whirlpool baths.

Interpret the Posture of Confidence

Words of confidence can be heard when spoken, likewise words of confidence can be read when written or documented. But can confidence be interpreted from the actions of a person?

Yes, it can. As a matter of fact, action has a higher degree of consistency compared to spoken or read materials regardless of the subject involved. Whenever there is a cloud of doubt on the truthfulness of an issue under discussion, the language not spoken or read serves as the confirmation of accuracy. This is the language of body movements or gestures. In this case, the issue is confidence.

Take these postures as indications of confidence:

A confident person is most likely to talk spontaneously, without second thoughts on his mind, as can be seen from his eyes. The eyes are the gates to a person’s character. A confident person gives more frequent eye contact than a non-confident individual. He can look at you straight every now and then, at a longer time, and his eyes blink less (unless the person has a habit of frequent blinking which you will notice beforehand).

A confident person talks with hands away from his face. He doesn’t cover his mouth (unless he has halitosis or unless the person he is talking to looks or reminds him of something funny) or nose (unless he smells something offensive). He doesn’t scratch his head (unless it’s itchy because of scalp disorders).

A person beaming with confidence of having achieved much stands erect and proud. He shows that he definitely knows where he is headed. A straight back with chin up shows confidence and even superiority.

One of the most reliable indications of a confident person can be seen by the gesture of his hands. When each finger of a hand (in spread position) meets each equivalent finger of the other hand at the tips, it is a very sure sign of confidence. This gesture resembles the structure of a church steeple. This is the reason why this gesture is called steepling or tapering.

Some people openly show off this hand gesture when they are seated. They proudly show their steepling hands, indicating authority and showing they are sure of what they are saying.

You may notice that when a boss and subordinate talks to each other, the boss is most likely the one doing the steepling. While seated in front of a desk, the boss usually places his elbows on top of the desk with the steepled hands almost on face level as if he is looking through a screen).

As for a woman, she usually rests her elbows on the armchair when seated with her steepled hands on her lap. If she is standing, the steepled hands are usually in the waist level.

In most of the gestures, especially when it comes to the steepled hands, it is important to know if the gesture you see from the other person is truly indicative of his true emotions or personality. Make sure you are not being misled or deceived. This is especially true in dealing with people you hardly know and when sincerity plays an important role in the deal. You can check this by looking for other clues that are congruent or related to the gesture he is exhibiting.

Kick the Habit of Criticizing

Oftentimes, when we are confronted with an undesirable situation or event, we tend to criticize or find fault. “What’s going on around here? What happened here? Who did this?” All these questions may not necessarily be suggestive of a criticism, but somehow, they are poised in that direction.

Criticizing is a reaction second to nature. People find faults more often than they find solutions. This is because it’s always easier to spot the problem and it is sometimes difficult to find the solution. This results to criticism, leading to drawbacks that are oftentimes consequential.

Clean your own backyard before you tell others to clean theirs. When you criticize, complain, or speak ill of other people, be sure that others have no reason to do the same to you. It would be better to avoid criticizing other people for good. What other people shortfall off, could be possibly corrected by your good deed or action to compensate for the shortfall.

To criticize, complain, or condemn others is futile. This only creates more problems than the original ones. This strays away from the real issue being criticized. The result is at times dangerous because criticizing hurts a person’s pride and self-importance, and this leads to resentment. The usual reaction of a person being criticized is to defend himself.

Keep in mind that humans are the highest forms of creatures in the animal kingdom, which is why we are filled with mixed emotions, various thoughts and feelings no other creatures can match.

Let us cite a simple illustration. Suppose a homeowner hires a housekeeper who is responsible for the upkeep of her property. Let us suppose that after a certain period, the homeowner finds the work performance of the housekeeper unsatisfactory. The homeowner can do either of the following:

• Tell the housekeeper straight forward that she is not satisfied with the housekeeper’s performance and criticize her; or

• Ask the housekeeper to accompany her in visiting a friend. The homeowner’s purpose is to show her housekeeper her friend’s home that she finds satisfactorily maintained. During the visit, her friend’s housekeeper can give tips to her housekeeper on proper work procedures.

If you’re the homeowner and you choose the first approach (by criticizing), it is likely that your relationship with your housekeeper might get strained. The effect of criticizing has a lot to do with the attitude of the person being criticized. If she takes it lightheartedly, this may not lead to resentment. But if she takes it defiantly, the effects can at times be disastrous or disadvantageous. Criticism makes a person defensive. Your defensive housekeeper's reaction is to find justification for her actions.

On the other hand, an act of diplomacy, free of criticism, could be the right approach to better understanding and cooperation between two people. Going back to the case between the homeowner and housekeeper, the second approach shows the homeowner’s subtle way of conveying her message to the housekeeper - how she wants the job done to her satisfaction, without resulting to strained relationships.

Oftentimes, when we ask a person to do a certain job that results in an outcome that falls short of our expectations, we don’t give the person a second chance to prove his worth. Some factors may have to be taken into consideration depending on the situation at hand. At any rate, improvement free from criticism, with room for a second chance to prove one’s worth, is a welcome change.

Nothing to Lose and Everything to Gain

Nothing to Lose and Everything to Gain

Presenting four scenarios:

1. Nothing to lose and nothing to gain
2. Everything to lose and everything to gain
3. Everything to lose and nothing to gain
4. Nothing to lose and everything to gain

If you are given a chance to pick one, which will it be? Just by merely looking at the four scenarios, you would obviously pick the fourth. But let’s take a closer look, a look inside all four scenarios by means of illustrations.

The first two scenarios are actually the same. This can be likened to a town where the living conditions of the people residing in it did not deteriorate over time; but neither did it progress. People may be moving about, literally speaking. But somehow, life has not changed or improved. They are actually losing something that is not visible but real. And that thing is time. Time is being wasted. This kind of scenario or situation does not attract attention; there is nothing spectacular or exciting. What was there five or ten years ago still remains the same. It makes one observing this town feel sleepy because it looks like a sleepy town with people moving about like zombies.

Let’s look at the third scenario, everything to lose and nothing to gain. Now, this looks more exciting, only it feels like falling into a pit. At least, there’s activity; but it is a depressing one. This can be likened to a financially poor person who suddenly got a windfall of cash through inheritance or through the lottery. There are countless stories about ordinary workers or employees who won in the lottery and got super rich. A few years later, they were back to where they used to be, financially speaking. Some of these people even wind up worse than they used to be, accumulating debts rather than wealth. Either they were blinded by the huge amounts of cash they came across with or they simply can’t manage their money well.

The fourth scenario looks interesting and inviting. There was once a person who was working as an ordinary employee. He set aside a portion of his salary as savings. He was saving, not for the rainy days but to use it for a business he intended to put up. In the meantime, he gathered not only savings, but also enough experience related to his planned business. Somewhere along the way, an obstacle occurred. He needed to send additional money to his family in the province to spend for a sick relative. He dug into his savings. But at the same time, he found an extra job to make extra money to fill in the hole he made on his savings. This kept his plan on schedule. Once the savings and experiences were enough, he left his job and started to put up his business. It was hard work at the start. Frustrations were always part of the daily activities related to his business. There were times he felt like giving up but somehow, a voice from within him told him “If you back out now, where will you go?” So he held on. Sometimes he felt like he can’t hold on any longer. It’s as if he was holding and hanging on the edge of a sword; but in spite of the pain, he still persisted. Then little by little, things began to change. His business blossomed. More and more people got to know him from previous customers because of his outstanding products and services. He was glad he made the right decision to hold on during those difficult moments. Occasionally, there were ups and downs, but the downs were not enough to discourage him from pursuing his goal.

This is an illustration of determination and perseverance to accomplish something in life, an abundant life. It is an illustration that if you don’t do something to achieve your goal, you end up in the same place you used to be. It’s an illustration of nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Turning Nothing into Something

Have you ever read a signboard (usually seen on a corridor or a hallway) that says something like “If you have nothing to do, don’t do it here?” The subtle message here is to avoid loitering.

If you analyze this expression, it does make sense. But if you look at it in a deeper dimension, there is a strong message being delivered here - a message that has relevance to success in life. It is like a wake up call to the reality of life.

Your conscience is the one telling you to stop wasting your time, to do something with your life, and to do your best to achieve a goal. You have to listen to your conscience’s call because if you don’t, it is nobody’s loss but your own.

You must find out if there are any hindrances that are holding you back from moving forward in life. Is it financial condition? Is it social status, age, color, race, religion, educational background, gender, or a handicap? If you look at history, none of those mentioned above were considered hindrances. The explanation is simple. If you think you’re a failure, then you probably are. If you think you’re a success (even if you’re not yet successful), then the universe will work hard towards bringing you to fulfillment.

So the first thing you have to do is to flip the word “failure.” Look at it on the other side, and spell it out as “success.” Letter “f” becomes “s,” letter “a” becomes “u”, and so on.

Next thing on the list, you have to use your navigational instinct. Know what you want, where you’re headed, and how to get there. Find out what you are aiming for. Don’t run around headless.

If you can’t decide on what you want, here are two simple guides. Guide one is to find out what you love or like to do - something you enjoy doing. This is following your heart’s desire. When you love what you do, you’ll stick to it, no matter what. Your level of perseverance is higher and you won’t give up easily. This will keep you going and you won’t stop at anything until you achieve it. This will ensure success.

Guide two is to find a need and fill it. This principle is attributed to a great instrumentalist and has been the guiding principle of many other industrialists ever since. Look around. Be an observant. Check out what kind of product or service your community needs to enhance life improvement and development. It may take some effort and time to find out what it is or what they are, but it will be worth it. Sometimes when you’re looking for something, it is difficult to find it. Other times when you’re not looking but you’re just maintaining an open mind, ideas can come flowing into your mind effortlessly and spontaneously. Call it timing. There is always a right time for everything.

Once you know what you want to do, you will know where you’re heading. Between the “what” and the “where” is the “how” to get there. And this is the most important part of a successful life. It’s action time.

Try dividing a story or movie feature into three parts (what the story is about, how the story goes, and the ending of the story). The lengthiest part is how the story goes. This is where the action is. The outcome of the story is determined by the action that takes place. All three parts of the story are important. However, the middle portion is more significant than the other two.

This is the same with your purpose - to succeed in life. To achieve your goal, the action part takes the most time, effort, and material support to get to where you want to be. It is the part of your life where you are going to experience all the ups and downs, laughter and tears, joys and pains. But it’s all going to be worth it. In the end, as you look at the trail you left behind, you’ll be glad you went through it all.

What’s in a Handshake?

All over the globe, people greet each other in different ways. This is brought about by different cultures. Even the primitives of yesterdays down to the present tribal groups use greetings to show respect and acknowledgement of meeting one another.

The primitives show their hands as a gesture that they come in peace. A roman salute during the time of Julius Caesar is done with the right hand clenched in a fist and sharply drawn to the chest. Grasping each other’s forearm by the hand is also practiced then. In the western world, youngsters greet each other with a high five (at times with both hands). Soldiers greet their superiors with a snappy salute. The typical handshake among the general public is done with each other’s palms interlocking.

If you are traveling to different places, it is still best to check first what the local custom is with regards to the proper greeting procedure. It is better to do it correctly than to be sorry after doing it. There’s a saying: “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.” Proper greeting or handshake best describes this expression.

To know the right greeting procedure, ask around the local circle. Your good intention might be interpreted as an insult and you know what follows thereafter, especially in places where you’re a visitor. This becomes more important if you’re a first timer to a particular country wherein you’re not familiar with the cultures.

There are incidences wherein a handshake accompanied by another gesture is interpreted in more ways than one. Take for example, a typical handshake done by some politicians. A common handshake accompanied by a grasp by the left hand to the right hand or to the right shoulder of the other person may have different meanings to some people. Some interpret it as being overly comfortable with the other person when in fact the politician hardly knows the person. Between close friends, this may be proper. But between two individuals who hardly know each other, this may mean otherwise.

The lesson here is to be reserved in your gesture. What is intended to be good might not be interpreted as such.

In the event that there is confusion on how the proper gesture in a locality is administered, it may be safer to throw a sincere smile instead of a handshake. Since a handshake is considered a type of body language, so is a smile. A smile almost always never fails in any culture around the world.

Local folks who extend their hands or greet first may also give you an idea of the way a greeting is administered in a certain place. Duplicating what they do or simply returning the favor can be safely assumed to be the proper way a greeting should be done in that place.

Some athletes who have strong hands are cautious in shaking hands because they fear hurting other people’s hands. As for those whose livelihood is dependent on their hands, like surgeons, dentists, and musicians, they are likewise cautious in shaking other people’s hands. This time it’s their hands they want to protect.

So, what’s in a handshake? It may be just a casual greeting but it may also mean a lot.

How to Develop Toughness

The human body has the capability of protecting itself from various diseases through its immune system. We do not discount the fact that the immune systems of some people are healthier than that of others.

Why is this so? The answer lies in the fact that your disposition in life affects your health significantly. If you develop a positive attitude, you will also develop toughness to overcome adversities that may come your way. Researchers have proven that mental health has much to do with physical health. A healthy mental attitude results to a healthy body, which in turn results to a more productive life.

Stick to these personality factors and you’re well on your way to developing toughness:

Build a strong commitment to self, family, community, work, and almost all other values of your daily life. Instill the importance of quality living. This will drastically improve your psychological and physical well being. What the mind contributes to a healthy body, the body will reciprocate. The mind and body works in tandem, as a team. Without one, the other is helpless. But when both are healthy, the results can be astonishing.

Develop a positive guiltless disposition. When you say guiltless, you must be willing to accept whatever comes your way. For example, if you do your best to reduce your risk of acquiring health problems but some illnesses still develop nonetheless, you must never feel guilty for what seems to be a failure. Don’t let problems pull you down. Stand firm.

Make sure you have full control of your life. This is one quality tough people are made of. You should have no problem managing the things you can control. Controlling does not mean dominating. Respect other people’s rights and get the same in return. Accept things you cannot control the way they are, if you cannot do without them. If you can do without them, leave them and divert your attention to something else that will make your life more meaningful.

Adjust to change and use it to your advantage. Tough people welcome change as an opportunity to improve, rather than a threat. Even if it is a threat, you can come out one level better than before psychologically, despite all the beatings you might have taken physically. You learn from your mistakes. Adopt a “Next time, I know what I’m going to do to avoid the same mistake” attitude. There is always a first time and there will always be a next time. The succeeding times will always be better than the previous ones (if you learn from your mistakes). The setbacks will keep getting lesser while success will keep getting closer at hand. This is progress at work.

If you have children, develop toughness in their attitude at an early age. Provide strong parental encouragement and acceptance. When children feel accepted, this develops in them a sturdy attitude of commitment to others. Assign casual tasks to them so that they can feel their place in life. Teach them how to become independent and responsible. It pays to enhance their toughness at an early age.

What is foundation to a building, toughness is to people. Foundation of a building is made strong at the start of construction, while the foundation of tough people is enhanced through a continuous process of trials and adjustments.

Effective Tips for Memory Retention

Without doubt, exercise is one of the most effective ways to stay healthy - physically, mentally, and emotionally. Although exercise is directly equated to the physical aspect of an individual, emotional and mental benefits can likewise be derived from it.

While muscle mass is identified to physical exercise, memory retention is identified to mental exercise. This is made possible by answering crossword puzzles, memorizing quotes, poems or songs, playing cards, and trivial pursuits. All these fun games and reading materials are exercising tools for the mind. Although these things are primarily designed for fun, their secondary purpose is to enhance the mind’s memory retention. Another way of practicing memory retention is by remembering instead of putting in writing a day’s schedule of activities that need to be done. If this is done with ease, you can even stretch your schedule to several days.

Consider these other tips:

Relieve yourself from stress - When you are under stress, your body shows various symptoms. You become emotionally disturbed and your mind is preoccupied, so there is no room left to remember other things especially new ones. Therefore, you must unload the stress off your mind and unwind by utilizing relaxation techniques. Exercise is one of the best ways to get rid of your tensions. It also comes with a load of other health benefits.

Associate with things - The association technique is an old way of remembering things, persons, names, numbers, and others wherein you associate someone or something with the first thing that comes to your mind. It might not be the best technique but it still works because it seems to be inherent within us. Here’s a list of 10 items you can associate with numbers, one to ten:

One - me (one person)
Two - shoe (it comes in pairs)
Three - tree (it rhymes)
Four - table (it has four legs)
Five - fingers (one hand has 5 fingers)
Six - sticks (5,6 pick up sticks)
Seven - dwarfs (snow white and the seven dwarfs)
Eight – cell phone (when you flip it open, looks like a number 8)
Nine - playing cards (lucky 9)
Ten - Indians (10 little Indian boys)

Match names to pictures - When someone is introduced to you, do you find it difficult to remember his name? That may be a likely case. However, the person’s face is not easily forgotten. If you come across that person again, the first thing that you might remember is his face; but it’s likely that you won’t remember his name. You may also forget where you met the person before. Try this: When someone new is introduced to you, identify something on the person to make you remember him - something different or noticeable on the individual that you may use to remember the next time you meet each other. Examples may include a mole in the face, a large nose, or shaggy hair.

Call a person by name - The name is the sweetest sound to one’s ear. Repeating somebody’s name the first time you meet him is sub-consciously committing the person’s name to your memory. After your first meeting, recall his name once in a while. This strengthens the retention of the person’s name to your memory.

When trying to recall something you can’t remember but “it’s at the tip of your tongue,” try to be relaxed and you will recall it easier. Forcing yourself to recall something will put you under stress, thereby lessening your chances of retention success.

What’s Your Excuse for Not Being Successful in Life?

Excuses! Excuses! When we fail to do something we are expected to do, we almost always have an excuse for it. However, if we analyze it closely, an excuse is a self-destructive alibi for having failed to do something, especially when it involves attaining a goal. Instead of trying to persevere in finding ways to continue achieving a goal, some of us resort to excuses.

Even a handicap cannot be used as an excuse. Many handicapped but determined people have become achievers and champions. Instead of using a handicap as an excuse, let us turn it into an asset. Let us explore this further.

A handicap need not be a reason for failure. On the contrary, a handicap can be a reason for success.

A person with a handicap has one obsession - to lead a normal life. Depending on the handicap, a person would prefer to be as independent as possible. So he struggles and finds ways to overcome his impediment. When he is able to achieve his goal, this raises his self-esteem. In turn, he inspires others.

Everybody has handicaps in varying forms and degree. That is why, it requires effort and determination to overcome them. Handicaps can either be physical, financial, or emotional. And they can either be real or imagined.

Whenever we look at a handicap, we almost always look on the negative side only. It’s about time we take a look at the positive side of it. The positive side may be the difficult side, but it’s the one worth looking into. It’s the side that is going to lead us to excel in life.

If you think your handicap is physical, like having a weak body, you can counteract this through proper diet and training exercises. As long as the physical parts of your body are intact and mobile, there’s no reason why you cannot make it strong and useful. Why? Even those without a leg (for example) can be made to walk or run normally. With the advancement of science, artificial legs can help a handicap function with great mobility.

It your handicap is financial, then the more reason you have to rise above your present status. And if your financial status limits your educational attainment to improve your life, the school is not the only place to learn. Certainly, there are help centers to get you started even from zero level. Once you are initially warmed up with the basics of an education, the rest is up to you. Make use of libraries. Once you are educationally equipped, use your brain and come up with creative ideas to improve your life.

If you are emotionally disturbed with negative thoughts, it is like you are sitting on a chair with wobbling legs. Try sitting on a chair with sturdy legs; meaning, look at the bright, positive side of life. Put aside negativity and start thinking positively. The only one who can stop you is yourself.

If your handicap is a combination of any of the physical, financial, or emotional type, congratulations. You should strive more to overcome them, because a double layer of perseverance results to more than double the achievement. Where the odds are greater, the prize gets much bigger. After all the efforts you have exerted, the prize of success shall be a well-deserved one.

So what’s your excuse for not being successful?

Panic Attack is Like a Coin

We all know how a coin looks like. Many of us would be curious whenever we come across a newly minted, recently circulated coin. We even go to the extent of looking for one just to get a glimpse of it, for curiosity’s sake. Once you get a hold of it, do you look at one side only? Of course not, you gaze at both sides. You may even grab a magnifying glass to take a closer and more detailed look.

But for an old or previously circulated coin, we don’t usually take a close look at its appearance. We just look at it to check if it’s a quarter or a nickel whenever we use it to pay for something. We rarely examine both sides of a coin.

Actually, this is how some of us treat panic attacks - like a coin. We only look at panic attacks on one side - the side that brings disastrous effects. We rarely look at the other side – that of the positive side.

Let us illustrate this through a situation. Let’s say the city where you live have just been hit by a powerful earthquake. At the time of the quake, you might have been shocked or stunned. Soon after the quake, your shock subsides. But the thought of an aftershock may have crossed your mind. Then you begin to feel anxious that ultimately leads to a panic attack. The thought of an aftershock due to the earthquake makes your knees shake and your forehead sweaty. It gets you all worried. You can feel in your nerves the tingling sensation as if your entire body is revolting against you. All of these may transpire because of the thought of an impending aftershock.

“What’s going to happen next?” Will I be like one of those victims of the trembler that just hit us? Will I be spared from future disasters?” These questions would most likely race through your mind, with one common denominator - they are negatively inclined.

We are not saying this isn’t normal. It’s perfectly normal to think this way. Nobody’s claiming that earthquakes are not frightening. Just the thought of the ground moving when it shouldn’t be can send shivers down the spine.

You may also ask, “What must I do to save myself?” Actually, you must find an answer to this question, not only to be saved from an aftershock; but more importantly, to be saved from having a panic attack. If you can save yourself from panic attacks, you can eliminate a lot of problems.

Just how are you going to do it? For starters, you may overcome panic attacks through the mind. The positive way of thinking is the first and probably the best approach to cure panic attacks. Like a coin, you’ve seen the negative sides of your mind - the consequence or tragedy that an earthquake brings. Now let’s look at the other side of the coin. Instead of worrying about the harm that an aftershock might bring, the thought of having survived a powerful earthquake should encourage you to be more confident of surviving an aftershock which is usually of lesser intensity. This thought alone, should be enough to diffuse a panic attack. This thought will also prevent future panic attacks from setting foot into your mind.

It is important to identify what causes a panic attack. Equally important is to think in a positive way. If your mind has room for negative thoughts like doomsday and the like, your mind must also have room for positive thoughts to find ways of preventing or minimizing destruction. Actually, you must find ways for your positive thoughts to dominate your negative thoughts. To do this, you have to exercise your mind by telling it to “Think positive! Think positive!” In due time, improvements in positive mental attitude will prosper over any negative thoughts. So keep your mind chanting this slogan “Think positive!” whenever you feel a panic attack coming your way.

How to Manage Panic Attacks with the Proper Diet

There is a saying “For every action, there’s an equal reaction.” The foods you eat can have a significant effect when it comes to curbing panic attacks.

In this article, you will find means to prevent panic attacks by means of controlling, avoiding, or reducing the foods that trigger such disorder. On the other hand, you will also be encouraged to consume more foods that minimize panic attacks, keeping in mind a well-balanced diet.

Panic attacks directly affect the nervous system; therefore, eat foods rich in the B vitamins because they have calming effects and can deliver nourishment for a healthy nervous system.

Under the B vitamin group of nutrients, Vitamin B12, Thiamin, and Niacin have direct bearing to keep your nervous system from being susceptible to panic attacks. In more ways than one, these nutrients can make you more prepared in warding off or in handling nervous disorders.

Keeping in mind a balanced diet based on the Food Pyramid Guide while putting more emphasis on the B vitamin complex, the following can serve as an ideal food group on your diet:

1. Consume twenty percent of meat, poultry, seafood (salmon, swordfish, tuna, clams, crab, mussels, and oyster), and products made from soybeans like tofu, eggs, and cheese.
2. Consume thirty to thirty-five percent of baked potato, broccoli, asparagus, peanuts, legumes, watermelon, and oranges.
3. Consume forty to forty-five percent of brown rice, whole grain cereal, pasta, wheat germ, oatmeal, and bread.

While the above food groups which are rich in B vitamins can reduce panic attacks by maintaining a well-balanced nutrition regimen, there are three consumables that may aggravate anxiety disorders.

Alcohol is one of these substances. It raises hyperactivity in the nervous system and raises alertness. Being alert is not bad. However, alertness in the stressful level is like overacting in a stage play. Instead of doing good, it becomes annoying and may make you irritable. If alcohol cannot totally be avoided, the least you can do is to cut down your intake gradually until it reaches level zero. Some people tend to have secondary triggers of anxiety when withdrawal from a substance is abrupt.

Caffeine triggers panic attacks because it is a stimulant. Just like alcohol, withdrawal from caffeine might spur a secondary anxiety in the form of shaky, irritated, and exhausted feelings. For coffee drinkers, try the decaffeinated variety. Gradually reduce the strength and cut the frequency in which you consume coffee and other caffeine-rich drinks like cola, tea, and chocolate.

The third substance to avoid is sugar. Sugar hardly contains any nutrients and is packed with calories. Just how is sugar related to panic attacks? Sugar makes a person hyperactive, thereby bringing emotional disturbances that may ultimately lead to panic attacks. Sugar also causes mood swings. Sugar combined with starches from the foods you eat leads to fermentation and breaks down to alcohol. As mentioned earlier, alcohol raises stress levels that can lead to panic attacks.

All in all, maintaining a healthy eating habit is one of the prerequisites that contribute to a life free from panic attacks. Try your best to maintain a balanced diet even when you’re busy. Health should be your foremost priority.

Panic Attack? Bring It On

Heightened anxiety, or better know as panic attack, is a normal occurrence. Normal in the sense that it is accepted as a part of our daily activities.

Anxiety is not that bad though. It keeps us primed, as if it trains us to be always on our toes. It also keeps us psychologically alert. These exercises can be good but to a certain extent or limit only. Beyond the limit, things may start to get nasty.

When we are engulfed with a bout of panic attack, we have one of two choices. We can either face it or get away from it. This is better known as the fight/flight response. Given a choice, would you face panic attack and experience its full impact, or would you rather retreat or run away from it?

If we equate panic to fear (the two are similar in a lot of ways), the easy way out is to avoid it. But there is always a great chance (and you can be sure of it) that it will haunt you again and again. Whatever that fear is, literally speaking, this will keep you on the run and you will always be checking and looking behind you, cowering from it. The more you run away from it, the more it will chase you and make fun of you. It will be like a ghost running after you with a voice or sound that goes boooo………!

Given this kind of a situation, it is apparently more logical to face panic attacks. Fight it - or befriend it - whichever turns out to be a better option, and experience its full impact. There is a saying that “experience is the best teacher.” It is also true that when you are experienced on a certain situation, you get to handle this situation better the next time around because you already know how to deal with it. The more experiences you get out of it, the more confident you become. And when you are confident, what you used to fear will not make you fearful anymore. You will get immune to it. The more instances you are able to handle it, the more capable you will be each time it occurs, like practice. Practice makes perfect. In the end, you will perfect the art of handling panic attacks, from fearing panic attacks to handling it remarkably in a positive way. That’s an achievement.

Now, let’s go back to the point where you still dread panic attacks with a question you might raise that goes: “Just how am I supposed to face a panic attack knowing all too well it might subdue and eat me out of my guts?” The answer: “You don’t do anything about it. Just let it be. Let it run its entire course and just experience it”. But then you may ask: “What if I don’t survive it?” The answer: “You will definitely survive it”.

Keep this in mind. A panic attack is a state of mind, an apprehension. It is just imagined. There is no way a person will experience a brush on something like a heart attack, a coma, or even death because a panic attack is not life threatening. There is never a recorded case of a person who has died as a result of panic attack. Rest your mind to the fact that panic attack is not a physical ailment, even with the physical manifestations like sweating, palpitations, stomach cramps, and all that. You will be able to face and experience its full impact without any life-threatening effects. “Panic attack? Bring it on”. This is the attitude you must adopt the next time you have a bout with it.

How To Use Your Kids To Get Things Done

If you have children over the age of eight or nine years old, listen to how you can get things done quicker and easier with the help of your children. It will cut your chores in half and give your children the opportunity to learn how to participate in the “daily shuffle” of things.

GROCERY SHOPPING Children are always quick to delegate orders when Mom is on the way to the Grocery Store. Next time you are headed out to the store, make it a family event. Evenly divide the grocery list between everyone and just so time isn’t wasted at the Magazine stand, make it into a fun contest. For example, whoever finishes finding their items last, cleans up the dishes after the dinner meal.

LAUNDRY It’s a never-ending chore for Moms and Dads, so make it easier on everyone (especially yourself) by setting some rules on laundry. If it needs to be washed, the person that wears the item brings it to the laundry, or it is not washed. If you need something for the next day of school, don’t wait until 8:00 at night to ask someone to wash it, or you will be shown how to do that for yourself. Kids Fold Towels, period. With all of the laundry, ironing and everything else to do, this is an easy chore they can do from an early age until they leave for college.

PREPARING FOR A YARD SALE If you’ve ever experienced having a yard sale then you know the time and preparation in getting things ready for the big day. Children can help price things for the sale (they usually like that) and they can certainly go through their things with you to see what to keep and what to send out the door! Boys like to help Dad put out the YARD SALE or GARAGE SALE signs, and they may even want to make their own!

YARD WORK The yard should not be Dad’s responsibility only. It can easily be done if everyone pitches in. Assign the younger children the task of picking up sticks or trash from the lawn area before Dad begins to mow. All toys can be moved aside by the people that use them!

CLEANING OUT THE FAMILY AUTOS Washing the car can become a task that no one wants to do, even Dad. Since it isn’t anyone’s favorite pastime, have the entire family roll up their sleeves for family fun. Mom and Dad, get ready, it’s sure to be a water fight! Make it fun but get it done!

The chores will be cut in half if you let your children take some responsibility by helping you accomplish things around the house. The above list is only a suggestion, and you can add things that you think your children might be able to help you do. If you do not give your children an allowance, you should consider doing so if they pitch in and help. If they already receive an allowance, offer to reward them with a family night out doing something everyone enjoys! Also, when you assign chores, try to always make it a short and easy task. After all, they are just children!

Families Coping With Drug Addiction

You raise your children to tell the truth, love one another, and to never ever do drugs. Then one morning at 3 AM the phone rings and everything changes. While you were dreaming of your perfect life, your 15 year old son was having his stomach pumped as rescue teams worked to save his life, you thought he was home and in bed.

Drug Addiction doesn’t happen overnight for the person abusing the drug. Often, families dealing with it never see it coming. It is like a good dose of reality slaps you in the face screaming “WAKE UP DOROTHY, YOU AREN’T IN KANSAS ANYMORE!”

When someone you love begins their long journey down the road of drug addiction, it is a path that seems to have more twists and turns than a Rollercoaster. The ups and downs occur every day. As a family, you start to doubt anything the family member has ever told you. If anything in your home was ever missing, you suspect they took it. If they go to the bathroom, you think they are doing drugs. There is absolutely no trust whatsoever and you begin to fear there never will be.

You talk to people about help and they tell you of another 12 step program support system or of something they know nothing about. You thank them smile and never hear a word they say because you are more concerned with where the family member is right at this very moment and you are wondering what they are doing or if they are even alive.

Young people are not just smoking pot anymore. They are huffing, snorting, smoking drugs that you have never heard of and they don’t plan to give it up. If they get caught, they're sorry, but they will look you in the eye and tell you they're sorry they were caught.

These drugs allow the people on them an amazing level of self-confidence with authoritative people in their lives. They are going to do drugs and with the slack laws, well there is nothing you can do about it.

WRONG. There isn’t anything you can do with your children once they turn 18. If they choose to do drugs after their 18th Birthday, they can do just as much as they want to do and you will not be able to stop them and no one will help you control them, because legally, there’s no recourse. However if you are dealing with a drug-addict that is under age, you can take drastic measures. And if you don’t, you will wish later that you did.

The drugs kids get on now are more dangerous than anything you ever experienced in your younger years. The kids opt for Painkillers such as Oxycontin, Percocet, and Loratabs. Then when those highs don’t cut it, they get turned onto Meth. It is a drug that no one seems to walk completely away from because the temptation is there each and every day for the rest of their days.

So when you get that phone call in the wee hours of the morning, you hang up the phone and decide right then, do you take action? Remember if you don’t, it will mean you could be giving up someone you love.

Confidence Creates Power

If you feel like you are battling with your own self-confidence, it is time to take a look at some of the most confident people of our time. Confidence made them the successful people they are today, without it; they wouldn’t have climbed corporate ladders or been leaders in very public positions. They would have lived ordinary lives and it would have been such a waste of great talent.

Think about some of the very successful people in this day and time. Donald Trump, Peyton Manning and President Clinton, just to name a few. What do these people have in common with one another? They sure aren’t a bunch of pessimistic-thinking individuals. They are confident, successful leaders and people that carry power.

Donald Trump “The Donald” has more confidence than the whole New York Jets team. He is larger than life and seems to find a way to stay that way. Even after past financial devastations, the man just keeps coming back. What is it about him that makes him so capable of doing this? He is confident, almost to the point of arrogant, the man is most definitely impressed with himself, and that’s OK because he earned the right. His confidence has taken him to the very top of the corporate world. Even before his show, The Apprentice, everyone knew who he was. It’s a name that means business…..Trump.

Peyton Manning The Manning name may have gotten him his very first public coverage from ESPN when he first went to the University of Tennessee, but “Peyton” is the name that everyone will remember. He is the most confident NFL Football Player on the scene today, and why wouldn’t he be? Peyton Manning had a fire in his eyes this year as the season began, there was no question, this was going to be his year to shine. If you gamble on football, bet on Peyton’s Indianapolis Colts, this man is not going to let his team lose. It’s a sure thing.

President Bill Clinton President Clinton is so likeable, that you will hear people from all walks of life refer to him as BILL CLINTON. With the exception of the news media, everyone just feels compelled to refer to him as Bill. Maybe it was because of the way he confidently stood in the Presidency or perhaps it was the way he became more like the average man once scandal after scandal rocked The White House, but one thing is for certain this man is Confidence.

So, you might ask, “what do these people have in common with me”? The answer would be a lot. The all came into this world the same way you did and they put their pants on the same way you do. They just learned the power of confidence relatively early in life and decided to do something positive with it. They have overcome adversity and many challenges, but they always rise above and stand taller than ever before.

If you are having problems with your level of confidence, find what it is that is stopping you from achieving the self-confidence you need to be all that you were meant to be. Empower yourself with confidence by reading stories of people that define it and then take control of your life and own it.

How To Collect Friends

There are a lot of things people would like to be known for once there time here on earth is up. Many want to know they left their mark on history, others want to be known for their charitable contributions, and still others want to know that they will be remembered for some sort of artistic contribution to society. Have you ever stopped to think how nice it would be to be remembered as someone who had hundreds, if not thousands of friends?

There is no greater feeling in the world than to be genuinely likeable or loved by the people that you love. There isn’t a pill that can comfort or console you when you need a shoulder to cry on, there isn’t a drink you can mix that will give you the compassion you need when you are deeply saddened, nothing beats a genuine friend.

So why then do so many people count as few as none and as many as three or four on one hand? It may be because they never took the opportunity to become a genuine friend to someone else. Here’s a challenge for you, make it your mission to collect friends over the course of your lifetime. There are many people out there that could use your friendship. Take a look at some tips on how you can have more friends and people around you to love and have good times with over the course of a lifetime:

· Become a TRUE friend and you gain one for life
· Have an extensive Christmas Card list ……compile addresses from every business card, every address from family members, college and high school classmates, everyone you can think of into an Excel file and use it each and every Christmas
· Keep a list of email addresses with your Christmas Card list, send out e-mail greetings and Happy Birthday wishes on your friend’s special occasion
· Learn to bake something that is exceptionally delicious, and if someone you know loses a loved one, take them your baked good
· Be a good Neighbor
· Be Kind to each and every elderly person you know
· At Christmas, Take people you see regularly your “not quite famous yet” baked good
· Have manners
· Say Please and Thank you
· Say your sorry when you need to
· Never gossip about anyone, PERIOD
· As soon as you meet someone, think of someone else with that person’s first name so you can remember your new acquaintance by name. Use their name frequently in conversation, show genuine interest in what they are saying

Collecting friends can be one of Life’s Greatest Gifts. Think how great this world would be if we had the ability to really know some of the people we meet. Some of the most successful speakers in the world become that way because they are truly likeable people with a genuine care for others. You don’t have to be a public speaker to earn the title of FRIEND, but if you are looking for friends, you first will need to be one.